The Nifty Republic of Tzorsland is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Imperial Leader Lucifer with an even hand, and renowned for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, unlimited-speed roads, and strictly enforced bedtime. The hard-nosed, humorless population of 41.573 billion Tzorslanders have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The minute, corrupt government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Industry, and Education also on the agenda, while Social Policy and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Eyesore. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Tzorslandian economy, worth an astonishing 17,443 trillion Tzors a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Retail, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 419,578 Tzors, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

Access to the woods is only granted to those who bring a small shrubbery, grocery store cereal aisles resemble a Piet Mondrian work, being dead no longer has any benefits, and when flight control tells pilots to alter course the usual reply is "No, YOU move!". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Tzorsland's national animal is the wild turkey, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is The Eye of Harmony Cult.

Tzorsland is ranked 309,526^th in the world and 9,688^th in Osiris for Most Primitive, scoring -852.19 on the Scary Big Number Scale.