by Max Barry

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Largest Mining Sector: 17thLargest Black Market: 17thHighest Economic Output: 47th
The Archbishopric of
Psychotic Dictatorship
Begin en eand doot mekaar de hand
Influence
Sprat
Region
Civil Rights
Unheard Of
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Twente

Population39.011 billion

CapitalEanske
LeaderArchbishop Gerhardus Janman
FaithSaxon Catholicism

CurrencyMark
AnimalSteed

The Archbishopric of Twente is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Archbishop Gerhardus Janman with an iron fist, and renowned for its strictly enforced bedtime, rampant corporate plagiarism, and triple-decker prams. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 39.011 billion Tubantians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Spirituality and Education are also considered important, while Environment receives no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Eanske. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Tubantian economy, worth an astonishing 23,715 trillion Marks a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is a breathtaking 607,930 Marks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

Scenic mountain valleys are flooded with water as damming projects get underway, vacationing Tubantians expect to be treated as royalty, the new Grand Inquisitor of Righteous Scientific Inquiry has ordered a surprising amount of hemlock, and work creation schemes keep the masses occupied with meaningless tasks. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Twente's national animal is the Steed, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Saxon Catholicism.

Twente is ranked 90,563rd in the world and 492nd in Europe for Highest Drug Use, scoring 73.2 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.

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Largest Mining Sector: 17thLargest Black Market: 17thHighest Economic Output: 47thMost Devout: 61stMost Advanced Defense Forces: 77thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 80thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 107thMost Advanced Public Transport: 126thHighest Average Incomes: 141stLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 142ndLargest Manufacturing Sector: 168thHighest Poor Incomes: 174thLargest Populations: 178thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 215thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 221stLowest Crime Rates: 284thLargest Governments: 310thMost Corrupt Governments: 456thLargest Insurance Industry: 516thMost Avoided: 589thHighest Average Tax Rates: 604thMost Armed: 640thMost Primitive: 641stMost Stationary: 913thLargest Agricultural Sector: 1,609thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 1,750thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1,879thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 2,135thTop
5%
Most Valuable International Artwork: 3,174thMost Subsidized Industry: 3,374thMost Developed: 3,823rdMost Efficient Economies: 4,200thMost Advanced Public Education: 4,311thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 4,396thLongest Average Lifespans: 5,617thLargest Welfare Programs: 5,672ndMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 6,012thMost Influential: 7,393rdMost Conservative: 9,113thMost Authoritarian: 9,285thSmartest Citizens: 11,323rdTop
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Most World Assembly Endorsements: 20,613th
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Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 1st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 1st in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1st in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Populations: 1st in the regionLargest Black Market: 1st in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1st in the regionMost Devout: 2nd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 2nd in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 3rd in the regionMost Armed: 3rd in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 3rd in the regionMost Stationary: 5th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 5th in the regionLargest Governments: 6th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 6th in the regionMost Avoided: 7th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 8th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 8th in the regionMost Primitive: 10th in the regionTop
5%
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 13th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 15th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 16th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 17th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 21st in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 35th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 39th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 41st in the regionMost Conservative: 47th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 48th in the regionTop
10%
Most Advanced Public Education: 66th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 68th in the regionMost Extreme: 69th in the regionMost Developed: 69th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 87th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 88th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 103rd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Twente, work creation schemes keep the masses occupied with meaningless tasks.
  • : Following new legislation in Twente, the new Grand Inquisitor of Righteous Scientific Inquiry has ordered a surprising amount of hemlock.
  • : Following new legislation in Twente, vacationing Tubantians expect to be treated as royalty.
  • : Following new legislation in Twente, scenic mountain valleys are flooded with water as damming projects get underway.
  • : Following new legislation in Twente, a baby's first breath is also a baby's first felony.
  • : Following new legislation in Twente, it's widely agreed that to tennis players love means nothing.
  • : Following new legislation in Twente, fixing attendance at women's matches is a matter of "when they go low, we go high... funding".
  • : Following new legislation in Twente, Tubantian companies generally just fire employees in lieu of giving them vacation.
  • : Following new legislation in Twente, a new guerrilla marketing campaign for tap water involves government agents spraying random citizens with hose water.
  • : Following new legislation in Twente, tabloids coo over Archbishop Gerhardus Janman's expected child.

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