The Archbishopric of Twente is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Archbishop Gerhardus Janman with an iron fist, and renowned for its strictly enforced bedtime, rampant corporate plagiarism, and triple-decker prams. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 39.011 billion Tubantians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Spirituality and Education are also considered important, while Environment receives no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Eanske. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Tubantian economy, worth an astonishing 23,715 trillion Marks a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is a breathtaking 607,930 Marks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

Scenic mountain valleys are flooded with water as damming projects get underway, vacationing Tubantians expect to be treated as royalty, the new Grand Inquisitor of Righteous Scientific Inquiry has ordered a surprising amount of hemlock, and work creation schemes keep the masses occupied with meaningless tasks. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Twente's national animal is the Steed, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Saxon Catholicism.

Twente is ranked 90,563^rd in the world and 492^nd in Europe for Highest Drug Use, scoring 73.2 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.