The Archbishopric of Twente is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Archbishop Gerhardus Janman with an iron fist, and notable for its fear of technology, pith helmet sales, and rampant corporate plagiarism. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 37.76 billion Tubantians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Spirituality and Education are also considered important, while Environment receives no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Eanske. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Tubantian economy, worth an astonishing 21,229 trillion Marks a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is a breathtaking 562,222 Marks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.0 times as much as the poorest.

Asking a cutie their star sign is always met with withering scorn, professional athletes can't see balls amid the deluge of advertisements, the military refers to helpless combatants offering surrender as "sitting ducks", and the number of students attending university has reached a record high. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Twente's national animal is the Steed, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Saxon Catholicism.

Twente is ranked 206,292^nd in the world and 1,148^th in Europe for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 1.14 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.