by Max Barry

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Most Devout: 29thLargest Agricultural Sector: 93rdLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 120th
The Great Bountiful Empire of
Right-wing Utopia
The Future Is In the Past!
Influence
Power
Ribbentrop
Region
Civil Rights
Some
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Good

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

TURTLESHROOM II

Population19.547 billion

CapitalJonesboro
LeaderTsars Outtacountry and Olvia and Wip
FaithChristianity

CurrencyScrip
AnimalNangnang

The Great Bountiful Empire of TURTLESHROOM II is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Tsars Outtacountry and Olvia and Wip with an even hand, and notable for its ubiquitous missile silos, avowedly heterosexual populace, and infamous sell-swords. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 19.547 billion TurtleShroomers are free to succeed or fail in life on their own merits; the successful tend to enjoy an opulent (but moralistic) lifestyle, while the failures can be seen crowding out most jails.

The tiny, corrupt, pro-business government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Administration, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Jonesboro. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient TurtleShroomian economy, worth a remarkable 8,121 trillion Scrips a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and dominated by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Retail, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an amazing 415,468 Scrips, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,308,543 per year while the poor average 37,481, a ratio of 61.6 to 1.

Copies of the constitution are used as toilet paper, TURTLESHROOM II recently hosted the least successful trade negotiations since The Phantom Menace, tie-dye has been outlawed for being 'too occult', and trust-fund babies line up for places in community college. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. TURTLESHROOM II's national animal is the Nangnang, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Christianity.

TURTLESHROOM II is ranked 433rd in the world and 1st in Valkia for Highest Wealthy Incomes, with 2.31 million Standard Monetary Units.

Top
1%
Most Devout: 29thLargest Agricultural Sector: 93rdLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 120thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 130thMost Ignorant Citizens: 140thHighest Disposable Incomes: 227thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 272ndLargest Gambling Industry: 348thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 433rdLargest Cheese Export Sector: 567thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 585thLargest Insurance Industry: 647thMost Primitive: 851stMost Patriotic: 870thHighest Average Incomes: 901stMost Corrupt Governments: 1,044thMost Efficient Economies: 1,129thLargest Retail Industry: 1,206thLargest Mining Sector: 1,267thHighest Economic Output: 1,273rdHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 1,321stRudest Citizens: 1,717thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 2,394thBest Weather: 2,697thTop
5%
Fattest Citizens: 3,291stMost Beautiful Environments: 4,042ndLowest Crime Rates: 4,298thLargest Governments: 4,532ndLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 4,968thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 5,008thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 5,110thMost Stationary: 7,187thMost Influential: 10,108thMost Cultured: 12,847thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 13,996thTop
10%
Largest Populations: 16,462ndLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 18,906thMost Valuable International Artwork: 19,603rdLargest Black Market: 24,887thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 27,516thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 28,209th

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in TURTLESHROOM II, trust-fund babies line up for places in community college.
  • : Following new legislation in TURTLESHROOM II, tie-dye has been outlawed for being 'too occult'.
  • : Following new legislation in TURTLESHROOM II, TURTLESHROOM II recently hosted the least successful trade negotiations since The Phantom Menace.
  • : Following new legislation in TURTLESHROOM II, copies of the constitution are used as toilet paper.
  • : TURTLESHROOM II was reclassified from "Capitalist Paradise" to "Right-wing Utopia".
  • : Following new legislation in TURTLESHROOM II, citizens are constantly disappointed to find their nuisance neighbours are still alive.
  • : Following new legislation in TURTLESHROOM II, over a third of the seats in sports stadiums have been removed to make room for female-only commodes.
  • : TURTLESHROOM II was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Eco-Friendly Governments.
  • : Following new legislation in TURTLESHROOM II, hammering a nail into a wall is an effective death sentence.
  • : Following new legislation in TURTLESHROOM II, money grows on trees.

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