by Max Barry

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Most Devout: 34thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 111thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 150th
The Great Bountiful Empire of
Right-wing Utopia
The Future Is In the Past!
Influence
Power
Ribbentrop
Region
Civil Rights
Some
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Good

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

TURTLESHROOM II

Population14.142 billion

CapitalJonesboro
LeaderTsars Outtacountry and Olvia and Wip
FaithChristianity

CurrencyScrip
AnimalNangnang

The Great Bountiful Empire of TURTLESHROOM II is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Tsars Outtacountry and Olvia and Wip with an even hand, and remarkable for its zero percent divorce rate, sprawling nuclear power plants, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 14.142 billion TurtleShroomers are free to succeed or fail in life on their own merits; the successful tend to enjoy an opulent (but moralistic) lifestyle, while the failures can be seen crowding out most jails.

The relatively small, corrupt government prioritizes Law & Order, although Defense, Spirituality, and Education are also considered important, while Social Policy and International Aid are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Jonesboro. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 69.1%.

The frighteningly efficient TurtleShroomian economy, worth a remarkable 5,228 trillion Scrips a year, is broadly diversified and dominated by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Retail, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an amazing 369,702 Scrips, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,426,909 per year while the poor average 65,806, a ratio of 21.7 to 1.

Urban high-volume mailers now receive their mail via chauffeur-driven limousines, beggars lack pockets for spare change, in a desperate bid for cheap airfare TurtleShroomers can be seen jogging in a rubber suit just before flying, and most pop videos prominently feature the TurtleShroomian flag. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. TURTLESHROOM II's national animal is the Nangnang, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Christianity.

TURTLESHROOM II is ranked 49,624th in the world and 2nd in Valkia for Most Conservative, scoring 69 on the Bush-Santorum Dawning Terror Index.

Top
1%
Most Devout: 34thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 111thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 150thLargest Agricultural Sector: 193rdMost Ignorant Citizens: 200thMost Efficient Economies: 385thMost Patriotic: 685thLargest Insurance Industry: 693rdLowest Crime Rates: 857thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 956thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 958thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 1,021stHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1,073rdHighest Average Incomes: 1,088thSafest: 1,204thLargest Governments: 1,282ndLargest Mining Sector: 1,317thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 1,404thMost Corrupt Governments: 1,643rdRudest Citizens: 1,769thLargest Gambling Industry: 1,815thBest Weather: 1,875thMost Valuable International Artwork: 1,945thHighest Economic Output: 1,950thLargest Retail Industry: 2,156thTop
5%
Most Primitive: 3,417thFattest Citizens: 3,460thMost Beautiful Environments: 3,512thHighest Disposable Incomes: 4,726thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 5,939thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 5,984thMost Subsidized Industry: 6,598thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 7,395thMost Stationary: 9,357thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 10,923rdLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 11,529thTop
10%
Most Advanced Public Education: 13,139thMost Influential: 13,518thLargest Populations: 19,145thLargest Welfare Programs: 21,227thLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 21,732nd

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in TURTLESHROOM II, most pop videos prominently feature the TurtleShroomian flag.
  • : Following new legislation in TURTLESHROOM II, in a desperate bid for cheap airfare TurtleShroomers can be seen jogging in a rubber suit just before flying.
  • : Following new legislation in TURTLESHROOM II, beggars lack pockets for spare change.
  • : Following new legislation in TURTLESHROOM II, urban high-volume mailers now receive their mail via chauffeur-driven limousines.
  • : Following new legislation in TURTLESHROOM II, nursing mothers are often arrested for indecent exposure.
  • : TURTLESHROOM II was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Patriotic.
  • : Following new legislation in TURTLESHROOM II, the military has declared that 'a woman's place is in the mess hall'.
  • : Following new legislation in TURTLESHROOM II, any body part that can be cut off a person is no longer considered to be their property.
  • : Following new legislation in TURTLESHROOM II, women complaining about lack of opportunity are told to "man up".
  • : Following new legislation in TURTLESHROOM II, lonely people are supposed to be cheered up by the many parties that they are never invited to.

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