The Great Bountiful Empire of TURTLESHROOM II is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Tsars Outtacountry and Olvia and Wip with an even hand, and notable for its ubiquitous missile silos, avowedly heterosexual populace, and infamous sell-swords. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 19.547 billion TurtleShroomers are free to succeed or fail in life on their own merits; the successful tend to enjoy an opulent (but moralistic) lifestyle, while the failures can be seen crowding out most jails.

The tiny, corrupt, pro-business government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Administration, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Jonesboro. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient TurtleShroomian economy, worth a remarkable 8,121 trillion Scrips a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and dominated by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Retail, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an amazing 415,468 Scrips, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,308,543 per year while the poor average 37,481, a ratio of 61.6 to 1.

Copies of the constitution are used as toilet paper, TURTLESHROOM II recently hosted the least successful trade negotiations since The Phantom Menace, tie-dye has been outlawed for being 'too occult', and trust-fund babies line up for places in community college. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. TURTLESHROOM II's national animal is the Nangnang, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Christianity.

TURTLESHROOM II is ranked 433^rd in the world and 1^st in Valkia for Highest Wealthy Incomes, with 2.31 million Standard Monetary Units.