by Max Barry

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Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 3,883rdMost Valuable International Artwork: 4,446thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 4,766th
The Democratic People's Republic of
Iron Fist Consumerists
i like smacking small children
Stonks Callaghan
Influence
Dominator
Founder
Civil Rights
Unheard Of
Economy
Good
Political Freedom
Outlawed

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Turkmenbashistan

Population2.996 billion

CapitalKhiykheeq
LeaderStonks Callaghan
FaithStonkscallaghanism

Currencyorgasm
Animalsmall child

The Democratic People's Republic of Turkmenbashistan is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Stonks Callaghan with an iron fist, and notable for its closed borders, avowedly heterosexual populace, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 2.996 billion Turkbashis are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Khiykheeq. The average income tax rate is 83.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The Turkmenbashistanian economy, worth 209 trillion orgasms a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, highly specialized black market in Trout Farming, Arms Manufacturing, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 70,077 orgasms, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

War criminals are given full state funerals, weathermen are being arrested for attempting to read the future, citizens are barcoded to keep track of their movements, and there's a shortage of swinging hot spots as land development grinds to a halt. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Turkmenbashistan's national animal is the small child, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Stonkscallaghanism.

Turkmenbashistan is ranked 11,644th in the world and 1st in The Real Fourth International for Most Advanced Public Transport, scoring 3,046.01 on the Societal Mobility Rating.

Top
5%
Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 3,883rdMost Valuable International Artwork: 4,446thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 4,766thMost Conservative: 8,199thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 8,415thMost Authoritarian: 9,217thMost Advanced Public Transport: 11,644thTop
10%
Highest Average Tax Rates: 12,635thLargest Black Market: 12,842ndMost Corrupt Governments: 13,512thLowest Crime Rates: 17,226thMost Beautiful Environments: 17,836thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 19,022ndMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 19,573rdMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 21,901stLargest Governments: 22,742nd

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Turkmenbashistan voted against the World Assembly Resolution "Commend Northern Borland".
  • : Following new legislation in Turkmenbashistan, there's a shortage of swinging hot spots as land development grinds to a halt.
  • : Turkmenbashistan voted for the World Assembly Resolution "Repeal "Death Penalty Ban"".
  • : Turkmenbashistan voted against the World Assembly Resolution "Death Penalty Ban".
  • : Following new legislation in Turkmenbashistan, citizens are barcoded to keep track of their movements.
  • : Turkmenbashistan's influence in The Real Fourth International rose from "Superpower" to "Dominator".
  • : Following new legislation in Turkmenbashistan, weathermen are being arrested for attempting to read the future.
  • : Turkmenbashistan voted for the World Assembly Resolution "Commend Singapore no2".
  • : Following new legislation in Turkmenbashistan, war criminals are given full state funerals.
  • : Turkmenbashistan's influence in The Real Fourth International rose from "Power" to "Superpower".

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