by Max Barry

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Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 1,289thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 4,942ndMost Conservative: 5,937th
The Democratic People's Republic of
Iron Fist Consumerists
i like smacking small children
Stonks Callaghan
Influence
Nipper
Region
Civil Rights
Outlawed
Economy
Good
Political Freedom
Outlawed

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Turkmenbashistan

Population2.255 billion

CapitalKhiykheeq
LeaderStonks Callaghan
FaithStonkscallaghanism

Currencyyeet coin
Animalsmall child

The Democratic People's Republic of Turkmenbashistan is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Stonks Callaghan with an iron fist, and notable for its public floggings, ubiquitous missile silos, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 2.255 billion Turkbashis are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Khiykheeq. The average income tax rate is 81.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The Turkmenbashistanian economy, worth 164 trillion yeet coins a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, highly specialized black market in Trout Farming, Uranium Mining, and Arms Manufacturing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 73,092 yeet coins, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.0 times as much as the poorest.

To 'cut off family ties' is no longer just a phrase, police drones follow every suspected Peeping Tom, bilingual Turkbashis are viewed with suspicion, and cancer rates amongst the richest in society are inexplicably on the rise. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Turkmenbashistan's national animal is the small child, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Stonkscallaghanism.

Turkmenbashistan is ranked 13,050th in the world and 743rd in Balder for Largest Black Market, with 46.0 trillion Standard Monetary Units.

Top
1%
Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 1,289thTop
5%
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 4,942ndMost Conservative: 5,937thMost Authoritarian: 8,212thMost Valuable International Artwork: 9,316thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 10,186thTop
10%
Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 11,324thMost Advanced Public Transport: 11,918thLargest Black Market: 13,128thMost Corrupt Governments: 13,740thHighest Average Tax Rates: 14,011thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 15,954thMost Ignorant Citizens: 18,854thLowest Crime Rates: 21,339th
Top
1%
Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 58th in the regionTop
5%
Most Conservative: 130th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 247th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 259th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 295th in the regionTop
10%
Most Extreme: 377th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 601st in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 648th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Turkmenbashistan's influence in Balder rose from "Newcomer" to "Nipper".
  • : Following new legislation in Turkmenbashistan, cancer rates amongst the richest in society are inexplicably on the rise.
  • : Turkmenbashistan was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Highest Foreign Aid Spending.
  • : Turkmenbashistan's influence in Balder rose from "Hatchling" to "Newcomer".
  • : Turkmenbashistan was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Extensive Public Healthcare.
  • : Turkmenbashistan's influence in Balder rose from "Unproven" to "Hatchling".
  • : Turkmenbashistan's influence in Balder rose from "Zero" to "Unproven".
  • : Turkmenbashistan was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Extensive Public Healthcare.
  • : Following new legislation in Turkmenbashistan, bilingual Turkbashis are viewed with suspicion.
  • : Turkmenbashistan altered its national flag.

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