The Protectorate of Tsifyrettop is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Chaplain Franciszek Nakano with a fair hand, and remarkable for its prohibition of alcohol, smutty television, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic population of 19.852 billion Tsifyrettopians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, socially-minded, outspoken morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Social Policy, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Trobridge. The average income tax rate is 95.8%.

The all-consuming Tsifyrettopian economy, worth a remarkable 2,277 trillion dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology and Trout Farming. Average income is an impressive 114,720 dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The new Refuse Hills housing development is under construction, shanty towns of homeless immigrants are the ideal recruiting ground for terrorist organisations, sermons are regularly interrupted by businessmen taking phone calls, and politicians "baring all" for the camera isn't always a figure of speech. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tsifyrettop's national animal is the pig, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Tsifyrettop is ranked 49,501^st in the world and 9^th in Arkonos for Lowest Crime Rates, with 74.31 law-abiding acts per hour.