The United States of Trilanian is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by President Edward with an even hand, and remarkable for its national health service, pith helmet sales, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, democratic population of 3.191 billion Trilanianians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large government prioritizes Defense, although Education, Administration, and Law & Order are also considered important, while Spirituality receives no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tralian. The average income tax rate is 90.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Trilanianian economy, worth 430 trillion Urdas a year, is quite specialized and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 134,765 Urdas, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Several citizens have complained about scientists abducting their pets for experimentation, nobody is allowed to mention what religion terrorists follow, organ donation rates have hit a new low, and elderly citizens regularly buy posh multimillion-Urdas mansions. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Trilanian's national animal is the Lion, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Trilanian is ranked 11,111^th in the world and 602^nd in Osiris for Lowest Crime Rates, with 92.65 Law-abiding Acts Per Hour.