The Tone-Deaf Bard of Tracian Empire is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Emperor Julius I of Thrace with an iron fist, and renowned for its sprawling nuclear power plants, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and prohibition of alcohol. The compassionate, cynical, devout population of 20.163 billion Thracians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Vathora. The average income tax rate is 89.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Thracian economy, worth a remarkable 2,646 trillion Auriols a year, is quite specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Information Technology. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 131,239 Auriols, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Pharmaceutical companies emphatically promise that "your pills are in the mail" rather than admit any supply shortfall, bins outnumber trees in city parks, the Department of Health is snowed under by requests for crisper ciabatta and tenderer tagliatelle, and the dessert 'Death by Chocolate' isn't the most lethal dish on the menu. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tracian Empire's national animal is the Imperial Eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Vayonism.

Tracian Empire is ranked 17,071^st in the world and 13^th in International Northwestern Union for Most Beautiful Environments, with 1,113.96 pounds of wildlife per square mile.