The Land of Townside is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Grand Prince Zackery Carlisle with an iron fist, and remarkable for its flagrant waste-dumping, irreverence towards religion, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 5.832 billion Townsiders are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The relatively small, corrupt, well-organized government is dominated by the Department of Defense, with Industry, Education, and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Welfare and International Aid aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Town Beside the Sea. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 32.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Townside economy, worth a remarkable 1,237 trillion Kilo Silvers a year, is broadly diversified and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 212,274 Kilo Silvers, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,189,379 per year while the poor average 18,798, a ratio of 63.3 to 1.

The government keeps its thumb on the scales of justice, the nation is under martial law, the nation has always been at war with Moltovea, and the nation's soldiers sleep four to a bed in order to use space economically. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Townside's national animal is the Enfield, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Church of Townside.

Townside is ranked 166,802^nd in the world and 141^st in The Western Isles for Longest Average Lifespans, with 67.5 Years.