The Land of Townside is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by King Charles III with an iron fist, and renowned for its anti-smoking policies, national health service, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 15.359 billion Townsiders are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Healthcare, Education, and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Spirituality and International Aid are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Town Beside the Sea. The average income tax rate is 91.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Townside economy, worth a remarkable 3,902 trillion Townsider Pounds a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Tourism, and Retail. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 254,111 Townsider Pounds, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The armed forces are locked in an expensive and bloody war abroad to stamp out possible terrorists, the Foreign Ministry thinks an eye for an eye is a blindingly good idea, unemployed school bus drivers photobomb virtual classroom meetings, and escaped birthday balloons are torpedoed out of the sky. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Townside's national animal is the Enfield, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Church of Townside.

Townside is ranked 5,278^th in the world and 12^th in The Western Isles for Highest Average Incomes, with 254,111.45 Standard Monetary Units.