The Land of Townside is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Zackery Carlisle with an iron fist, and renowned for its ubiquitous missile silos, triple-decker prams, and compulsory military service. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 9.903 billion Townsiders are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt government is dominated by the Department of Defense, although Healthcare, Education, and Industry are also considered important, while Welfare and International Aid aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Town Beside the Sea. The average income tax rate is 58.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Townside economy, worth a remarkable 2,165 trillion Kilo Silvers a year, is broadly diversified and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Trout Farming. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 218,708 Kilo Silvers, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

The nation has always been at war with Moltovea, the nation's soldiers sleep four to a bed in order to use space economically, citizens are deployed to barren deserts to protect small territorial claims, and plain-clothes police officers follow Dàguó tourists everywhere they go. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Townside's national animal is the Enfield, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Church of Townside.

Townside is ranked 168,047^th in the world and 121^st in The Western Isles for Greatest Rich-Poor Divides, with 2.65 Rich To Poor Income Ratio.