The Land of Townside is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Grand Prince Zackery Carlisle with an iron fist, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, otherworldly petting zoo, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 4.274 billion Townsiders are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is dominated by the Department of Defense, with Industry, Law & Order, and Education also on the agenda, while Welfare and International Aid receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Town Beside the Sea. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 29.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Townside economy, worth 844 trillion Kilo Silvers a year, is broadly diversified and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 197,573 Kilo Silvers, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 731,606 per year while the poor average 37,570, a ratio of 19.5 to 1.

The police have been known to wiretap confessional boxes, financial investors are noting a boom in artillery, rabbits are known to spontaneously explode without warning, and strange lights seen in the sky are officially regarded as weather balloons or hoaxes and nothing else. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Townside's national animal is the Butterfly, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Church of Townside.

Townside is ranked 4,930^th in the world and 28^th in The Western Isles for Most World Assembly Endorsements, with 20 Valid Endorsements.