by Max Barry

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Most Authoritarian: 13,299thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 13,863rdLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 16,057th
The United Socialist States of
Iron Fist Consumerists
Spiraling Out Of Freedom
Civil Rights
Unheard Of
Very Strong
Political Freedom

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Totally Not A Socialist

Population574 million

CapitalTotally not a Capital City

AnimalNuclear Radiated Cats

The United Socialist States of Totally Not A Socialist is a huge, safe nation, notable for its enslaved workforce, state-planned economy, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 574 million Totally Not A Socialistians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Spirituality. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Totally not a Capital City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 66.1%.

The very strong Totally Not A Socialistian economy, worth 49.1 trillion Potatoeses a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Retail, Woodchip Exports, and Gambling. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 85,464 Potatoeses, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 292,646 per year while the poor average 18,336, a ratio of 16.0 to 1.

Military instructors tire of being asked for another bedtime story by seven-year-old conscripts, the government considers it a sacred duty to video bikini-clad beach swimmers, military chiefs are predicting extra funding in this year's budget, and hidden bedroom-cams are installed to catch mothers doing their kids' homework. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Totally Not A Socialist's national animal is the Nuclear Radiated Cats, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Totally Not A Socialist is ranked 213,933rd in the world and 147th in The Wooloo Pact for Nudest, with 6.75 Cheeks Per Square Mile.

Most Authoritarian: 13,299thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 13,863rdLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 16,057thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 16,511thMost Conservative: 17,357thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 17,849thMost Corrupt Governments: 19,596thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 21,309thMost Devout: 21,486thMost Ignorant Citizens: 21,588thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 21,677th
Most Corrupt Governments: 3rd in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 3rd in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 4th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 4th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 5th in the regionLargest Black Market: 6th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 7th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 7th in the regionTop
Most Devout: 9th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 9th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 9th in the regionLargest Governments: 11th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 12th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 12th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 13th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 13th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 13th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 14th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 14th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 15th in the region

National Happenings

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