The Holy ☭ socialist☭ union of Tortlian is a huge, safe nation, renowned for its frequent executions, punitive income tax rates, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, cynical population of 616 million Tortles are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Turtovgrad. The average income tax rate is 61.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The strong Tortlian economy, worth 45.3 trillion Tortlian Krasronts a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is fairly diversified, is led by the Beef-Based Agriculture industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Trout Farming. Average income is 73,497 Tortlian Krasronts, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Ministers are now allowed to put suggestions in the governmental suggestion box, one tree's worth of paperwork accompanies each imported log of timber, major cities are suffering under water rationing, and children as young as twelve are conscripted into the armed forces. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tortlian's national animal is the Great Turtle of the Misty Reef, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Tortlian is ranked 31,796^th in the world and 1^st in The Raiders Commune for Most Patriotic, with 43.26 flags saluted per person per day.