The Commonwealth of Timothea is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Timon de Flavius with a fair hand, and renowned for its free-roaming dinosaurs, smutty television, and otherworldly petting zoo. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 2.503 billion Timotheans are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Flaviora. The average income tax rate is 93.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Timothean economy, worth 268 trillion Timoes a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Trout Farming. Average income is an impressive 107,422 Timoes, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Thomas the Spank Engine is the most popular and controversial children's show in the nation, convicted criminals are given free limo rides to jail, counselors have to sign pledges supporting gay rights before they can speak to any patients, and the government has adopted a "Lightning Never Strikes Twice" approach to dealing with natural disasters. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Timothea's national animal is the Brown Owl, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Timism.

Timothea is ranked 217,655^th in the world and 8,160^th in The North Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -321.07 on the Scary Big Number Scale.