The Grand Duchy of Tillians is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Willem II with an iron fist, and remarkable for its closed borders, frequent executions, and public floggings. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 11.049 billion Tilburgers are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Education, Healthcare, and Industry also on the agenda, while Spirituality and International Aid aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tilburg. The average income tax rate is 91.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Tilliansian economy, worth a remarkable 2,201 trillion Tils a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing and Beef-Based Agriculture. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 199,243 Tils, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.3 times as much as the poorest.

Talkative students are escorted from schools in second-hand prison buses, students spend the school year learning how great the education system is, prodigal children celebrate as charitable bequests plummet, and twins move across the country to avoid being accused of the other's crimes. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tillians's national animal is the Lion, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Tillians is ranked 6,491^st in the world and 343^rd in Osiris for Lowest Crime Rates, with 110.3 law-abiding acts per hour.