The Eternally Tired Raider of Thorn1000 is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Battlemaster Thorn with an iron fist, and remarkable for its parental licensing program, smutty television, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 13.776 billion Thornians are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The medium-sized, corrupt, pro-business government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Utopia. The average income tax rate is 97.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Thorn1000ian economy, worth a remarkable 6,746 trillion Dragon Dollars a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, Retail, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 489,755 Dragon Dollars, with the richest citizens earning 5.5 times as much as the poorest.

Health inspectors are seen eating black truffle fondue with their bottled water, the state funds the recreational drug habits of every citizen, it is popularly believed that "cheese every day keeps disaster away", and corporations feel proud all year round. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Thorn1000's national animal is the Peregrine Falcon, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Raiding.

Thorn1000 is ranked 5,487^th in the world and 10^th in The Brotherhood of Malice for Lowest Crime Rates, with 113.73 law-abiding acts per hour.