The Grand Duchy of Thessalian is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Grand Duke Erasmus with an even hand, and notable for its complete lack of prisons, sprawling nuclear power plants, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 28.041 billion Thessalites enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The large government is primarily concerned with Education, although Healthcare, Environment, and Social Policy are also considered important, while Spirituality and Defense receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kallisti. The average income tax rate is 99.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Thessaline economy, worth a remarkable 7,877 trillion gold muslis a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 280,913 gold muslis, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Workers for the environmental protection agency are patted down for tartar sauce every morning, Grand Duke Erasmus has been nicknamed 'Robomop', the latest national park is visited by more sharks than people, and the Treasury has been accused of flushing money down the toilet. Crime is totally unknown. Thessalian's national animal is the reindeer turtle shark, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Esterazism.

Thessalian is ranked 312^th in the world and 4^th in the West Pacific for Largest Publishing Industry, scoring 50,642.19 on the Bella Potter Productivity e-Index.