The Grand Duchy of Thessalian is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Grand Duke Erasmus with a fair hand, and notable for its daily referendums, complete lack of prisons, and state-planned economy. The hard-nosed, democratic, cheerful population of 21.504 billion Thessalites are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The medium-sized, outspoken government is primarily concerned with Education, although Healthcare, Environment, and Social Policy are also considered important, while Spirituality and Defense receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kallisti. The average income tax rate is 97.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Thessaline economy, worth a remarkable 5,771 trillion muslis a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing and Information Technology. Average income is an amazing 268,408 muslis, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Young people suspect their parents might be a little bit stupid, the wealthiest parts of the country receive the most government spending, a suspicious number of male students have joined the Ladies' Wrestling League, and the government is more interested in identifying problems than fixing them. Crime is totally unknown. Thessalian's national animal is the turtle, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Esterazism.

Thessalian is ranked 148,693^rd in the world and 5,708^th in the West Pacific for Lowest Overall Tax Burden, scoring -604.42 on the Hayek Index.