by Max Barry

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Largest Publishing Industry: 290th Most Cultured: 452nd Smartest Citizens: 524th
The Grand Duchy of
Left-wing Utopia
Do it now, do it well
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population21.504 billion

LeaderGrand Duke Erasmus


The Grand Duchy of Thessalian is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Grand Duke Erasmus with a fair hand, and notable for its daily referendums, complete lack of prisons, and state-planned economy. The hard-nosed, democratic, cheerful population of 21.504 billion Thessalites are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The medium-sized, outspoken government is primarily concerned with Education, although Healthcare, Environment, and Social Policy are also considered important, while Spirituality and Defense receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kallisti. The average income tax rate is 97.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Thessaline economy, worth a remarkable 5,771 trillion muslis a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing and Information Technology. Average income is an amazing 268,408 muslis, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Young people suspect their parents might be a little bit stupid, the wealthiest parts of the country receive the most government spending, a suspicious number of male students have joined the Ladies' Wrestling League, and the government is more interested in identifying problems than fixing them. Crime is totally unknown. Thessalian's national animal is the turtle, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Esterazism.

Thessalian is ranked 148,693rd in the world and 5,708th in the West Pacific for Lowest Overall Tax Burden, scoring -604.42 on the Hayek Index.

Largest Publishing Industry: 290thMost Cultured: 452ndSmartest Citizens: 524thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 643rdHighest Poor Incomes: 716thMost Advanced Public Education: 742ndMost Rebellious Youth: 824thLeast Corrupt Governments: 884thHighest Economic Output: 1,126thMost Developed: 1,220thMost Beautiful Environments: 1,288thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 1,429thTop
Most Popular Tourist Destinations: 1,525thMost Efficient Economies: 1,606thLongest Average Lifespans: 1,622ndLargest Governments: 1,657thMost Pacifist: 1,907thHighest Average Incomes: 2,322ndMost Inclusive: 2,406thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 2,419thHighest Average Tax Rates: 2,500thSafest: 2,591stMost World Assembly Endorsements: 2,814thHealthiest Citizens: 2,969thLargest Information Technology Sector: 3,015thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 3,142ndMost Influential: 3,173rdRudest Citizens: 3,423rdMost Advanced Public Transport: 3,590thMost Cheerful Citizens: 3,833rdLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 3,983rdMost Scientifically Advanced: 3,994thLargest Populations: 4,387thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 4,465thMost Secular: 4,845thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 7,004thTop
Nudest: 8,543rdLowest Crime Rates: 10,620thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 11,263rdMost Subsidized Industry: 11,544thMost Stationary: 14,344th
Largest Publishing Industry: 4th in the regionMost Cultured: 9th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 11th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 12th in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 13th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 15th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 18th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 18th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 19th in the regionLeast Corrupt Governments: 21st in the regionLargest Governments: 30th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 30th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 31st in the regionMost Developed: 32nd in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 38th in the regionLargest Populations: 39th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 40th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 47th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 47th in the regionMost Pacifist: 48th in the regionTop
Safest: 58th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 59th in the regionMost Inclusive: 59th in the regionMost Influential: 62nd in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 63rd in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 68th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 69th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 73rd in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 74th in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 75th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 83rd in the regionRudest Citizens: 88th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 91st in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 102nd in the regionMost Secular: 152nd in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 173rd in the regionNudest: 192nd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 215th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 230th in the regionMost Stationary: 258th in the regionTop
Highest Wealthy Incomes: 414th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 471st in the regionHighest Drug Use: 481st in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 503rd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Thessalian was endorsed by The Interstellar Empire of Tropical Isles.
  • : Thessalian was endorsed by The Imperium of Teralyon.
  • : Following new legislation in Thessalian, the government is more interested in identifying problems than fixing them.
  • : Following new legislation in Thessalian, a suspicious number of male students have joined the Ladies' Wrestling League.
  • : Thessalian was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Popular Tourist Destinations.
  • : Following new legislation in Thessalian, the wealthiest parts of the country receive the most government spending.
  • : Following new legislation in Thessalian, young people suspect their parents might be a little bit stupid.
  • : Following new legislation in Thessalian, every new building project has to undergo a five-year environmental impact study before it can go ahead.
  • : Following new legislation in Thessalian, one-man canoes fitted with the latest tracking technology leave no room for one man.
  • : Following new legislation in Thessalian, posh restaurants scatter glass fragments on the dining room floor to keep out barefoot undesirables.


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