The Commonwealth of The United Patagonian States is a massive, socially progressive nation, ruled by Walter Pinkman with a fair hand, and renowned for its anti-smoking policies, pith helmet sales, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 1.566 billion Patagonians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Tampa. The average income tax rate is 74.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Patagonian economy, worth 234 trillion Sterlings a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Trout Farming. Average income is an impressive 149,482 Sterlings, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The United Patagonian States is notorious for its citizens' infidelity, social networking sites have discussion groups devoted to planning terrorist attacks, male cubicle workers stand up every time a woman enters the room, and bins outnumber trees in city parks. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. The United Patagonian States's national animal is the Puma, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Atheism.

The United Patagonian States is ranked 114,414^th in the world and 178^th in Thaecia for Largest Retail Industry, scoring 1,821.24 on the Shrinkwrap Consignment Productivity Index.