The Mildly Barbaric Territories of The United Barbaros is a gargantuan, safe nation, notable for its rum-swilling pirates, complete lack of prisons, and aversion to nipples. The compassionate, democratic, devout population of 14.518 billion Barbarosians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, liberal morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Healthcare. The average income tax rate is 90.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming United Barbarosian economy, worth a remarkable 1,123 trillion Drachmas a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Basket Weaving and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 77,388 Drachmas, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Most pop videos prominently feature the United Barbarosian flag, being able to unblock a u-bend pipe is considered a universally essential skill, seven-year-olds debate for weeks on the merits of the Oxford comma, and there's no cure or sympathy for the common cold. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The United Barbaros's national animal is the ant, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

The United Barbaros is ranked 43,009^th in the world and 63^rd in Karma for Lowest Crime Rates, with 76.48 law-abiding acts per hour.