by Max Barry

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Fattest Citizens: 6,336thMost Armed: 8,758thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 10,976th
The Empire of
Iron Fist Consumerists
We believe in a purebread race
Influence
Ambassador
Civil Rights
Few
Economy
Powerhouse
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

THE UNITED BAGUETTES

Population504 million

CapitalBaguetteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

CurrencyBaguette
AnimalBaguette

The Empire of THE UNITED BAGUETTES is a huge, orderly nation, renowned for its infamous sell-swords, state-planned economy, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 504 million Baguette are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Education, Industry, and Law & Order also on the agenda, while International Aid and Spirituality are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Baguetteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. The average income tax rate is 25.6%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Baguette economy, worth 48.3 trillion Baguettes a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Retail, and Cheese Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 95,791 Baguettes, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

A good deed is rewarded with a thank you note attached to a deportation order, concussed Baguetteball players cannot remember their lineup position, grannies with arthritic hands work miserably on factory production lines, and the state conscripts sociopathic orphan girls to train as professional assassins. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. THE UNITED BAGUETTES's national animal is the Baguette, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

THE UNITED BAGUETTES is ranked 41,450th in the world and 14th in depressed kelso for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, scoring 3,706.83 on the Pepperoni Propulsion Productivity Index.

Top
5%
Fattest Citizens: 6,336thMost Armed: 8,758thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 10,976thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 12,604thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 12,702ndTop
10%
Most Valuable International Artwork: 15,319thHighest Disposable Incomes: 16,164thLargest Retail Industry: 21,892ndMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 22,085thMost Secular: 24,625thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 25,419thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 26,152ndMost Authoritarian: 26,312th
Top
5%
Fattest Citizens: 2nd in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 2nd in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 2nd in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 3rd in the regionMost Armed: 4th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 4th in the regionMost Influential: 4th in the regionTop
10%
Largest Manufacturing Sector: 6th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 6th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 7th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 7th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 8th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 8th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 8th in the regionHighest Drug Use: 9th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in THE UNITED BAGUETTES, the state conscripts sociopathic orphan girls to train as professional assassins.
  • : THE UNITED BAGUETTES voted against the World Assembly Resolution "Preventing Marine Wildlife Collisions".
  • : Following new legislation in THE UNITED BAGUETTES, grannies with arthritic hands work miserably on factory production lines.
  • : Following new legislation in THE UNITED BAGUETTES, concussed Baguetteball players cannot remember their lineup position.
  • : Following new legislation in THE UNITED BAGUETTES, a good deed is rewarded with a thank you note attached to a deportation order.
  • : Following new legislation in THE UNITED BAGUETTES, tech-mad citizens think that the laser-powered bread-slicer uPhone App is the coolest thing since sliced bread.
  • : Following new legislation in THE UNITED BAGUETTES, even God cannot save you in THE UNITED BAGUETTES.
  • : THE UNITED BAGUETTES was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Largest Soda Pop Sector and the Top 10% for Largest Manufacturing Sector and Most Authoritarian.
  • : THE UNITED BAGUETTES lodged a message on the Depressed kelso Regional Message Board.
  • : Following new legislation in THE UNITED BAGUETTES, anyone who sleeps in past 9am can be declared legally dead.

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World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 3 » YourAverageRedHead, Star Wars Fanatics, and Black Country New Road.

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