The Stick like Stickpire of The Stickmin Empire is a massive, socially progressive nation, ruled by Henry Stickmin with a fair hand, and renowned for its complete lack of prisons, smutty television, and absence of drug laws. The democratic population of 3.26 billion Stick-Figures enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Steal The Diamond City. The average income tax rate is 69.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Stickmin Empirean economy, worth 388 trillion Giant Gems a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 119,278 Giant Gems, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Meat prices are soaring as the farming industry struggle under government-imposed restrictions, a National Academy regulates grammar and usage, school lockers are filled with fancy underwear, and monocled merchants with funny accents are applying for Stickmin Empirean citizenship in droves. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. The Stickmin Empire's national animal is the Teleporter, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is PuffBall Unitedism.

The Stickmin Empire is ranked 23,858^th in the world and 755^th in the South Pacific for Most Beautiful Environments, with 904.85 pounds of wildlife per square mile.