by Max Barry

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Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 391stMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 415thLargest Welfare Programs: 532nd
The Kapa ʻEhu Kai of
Libertarian Police State
Ua Mau ke Ea o ka ʻĀina i ka Pono
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

The Shining Purple Light

Population11.286 billion

LeaderQueen Ululani


The Kapa ʻEhu Kai of The Shining Purple Light is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Queen Ululani with an iron fist, and notable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, hatred of cheese, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, hard-working, cynical population of 11.286 billion Kānaka are proud of their wide-ranging civil freedoms, and those who aren't tend to be dragged off the streets by men in dark suits and hustled into cars with tinted windows.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt, well-organized government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Honolulu. The average income tax rate is 99.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Kanaka economy, worth a remarkable 1,516 trillion Pūpūs a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is solely comprised of the Information Technology industry. Average income is an impressive 134,356 Pūpūs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The nation locks people up and tells them they're mad for compassion's sake, stylish juvenile delinquents are highly overrepresented in fatal motorcycle accidents, the government's new priority is citizens' access to cat videos, and healthcare workers are flummoxed over the spike in foreign tourists with sudden-onset heart disease. Crime is totally unknown. The Shining Purple Light's national animal is the Nēnē, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Mana.

The Shining Purple Light is ranked 939th in the world and 2nd in The Western Isles for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 24,804.28 on the Edu-tellignce® Test Score.

Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 391stMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 415thLargest Welfare Programs: 532ndMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 684thMost Advanced Public Education: 939thMost Advanced Public Transport: 947thHighest Average Tax Rates: 1,442ndMost Inclusive: 2,135thMost Beautiful Environments: 2,283rdTop
Most Pacifist: 2,623rdMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 2,724thLargest Governments: 2,863rdMost Developed: 2,973rdMost Subsidized Industry: 3,338thMost Cultured: 3,401stLongest Average Lifespans: 3,435thBest Weather: 3,590thMost Compassionate Citizens: 3,844thMost Rebellious Youth: 3,942ndNicest Citizens: 3,956thLowest Crime Rates: 5,892ndMost Cheerful Citizens: 6,152ndSmartest Citizens: 6,343rdHealthiest Citizens: 7,289thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 9,355thHighest Poor Incomes: 10,728thMost Influential: 10,870thHighest Economic Output: 11,454thTop
Most Efficient Economies: 14,454thHighest Average Incomes: 18,235thMost Scientifically Advanced: 18,585thMost Secular: 18,753rdHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 19,017thHighest Drug Use: 20,744th
Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 2nd in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 2nd in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 2nd in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 2nd in the regionTop
Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 3rd in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 4th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 5th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 5th in the regionMost Pacifist: 6th in the regionMost Developed: 6th in the regionLargest Governments: 7th in the regionMost Inclusive: 7th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 7th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 8th in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 9th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 10th in the regionTop
Longest Average Lifespans: 11th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 12th in the regionNicest Citizens: 13th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 14th in the regionNudest: 15th in the regionMost Cultured: 15th in the regionBest Weather: 16th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 17th in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 18th in the regionHighest Drug Use: 19th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: None.

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