by Max Barry

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Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 418thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 447thLargest Welfare Programs: 539th
The Kapa ʻEhu Kai of
Mother Knows Best State
Ua Mau ke Ea o ka ʻĀina i ka Pono
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

The Shining Purple Light

Population9.915 billion

LeaderQueen Ululani


The Kapa ʻEhu Kai of The Shining Purple Light is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Queen Ululani with an iron fist, and remarkable for its public floggings, irreverence towards religion, and absence of drug laws. The compassionate, cynical population of 9.915 billion Kānaka are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt, well-organized government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Honolulu. The average income tax rate is 99.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Kanaka economy, worth a remarkable 1,332 trillion Pūpūs a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is extremely specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing. State-owned companies are the norm. Average income is an impressive 134,415 Pūpūs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The nation locks people up and tells them they're mad for compassion's sake, stylish juvenile delinquents are highly overrepresented in fatal motorcycle accidents, the government's new priority is citizens' access to cat videos, and healthcare workers are flummoxed over the spike in foreign tourists with sudden-onset heart disease. Crime is totally unknown. The Shining Purple Light's national animal is the Nēnē, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Mana.

The Shining Purple Light is ranked 17,467th in the world and 1st in Fleurissant for Highest Average Incomes, with 134,415.44 Standard Monetary Units.

Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 418thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 447thLargest Welfare Programs: 539thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 732ndMost Advanced Public Education: 922ndMost Advanced Public Transport: 1,028thMost Influential: 1,238thHighest Average Tax Rates: 1,405thMost Inclusive: 1,930thTop
Most Beautiful Environments: 2,401stMost Pacifist: 2,505thLargest Governments: 2,770thMost Subsidized Industry: 2,837thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 2,837thMost Developed: 2,930thLongest Average Lifespans: 3,355thMost Cultured: 3,364thMost Compassionate Citizens: 3,467thNicest Citizens: 3,578thMost Rebellious Youth: 3,936thBest Weather: 3,959thLowest Crime Rates: 5,714thMost Cheerful Citizens: 5,866thSmartest Citizens: 6,449thHealthiest Citizens: 7,182ndHighest Poor Incomes: 7,416thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 7,983rdTop
Highest Economic Output: 12,229thMost Efficient Economies: 14,324thMost Scientifically Advanced: 16,998thHighest Average Incomes: 17,467thHighest Drug Use: 17,712thMost Secular: 17,837thNudest: 20,447th

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: None.

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