The Potato-Poet of The Salaxalans is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Svlad Cjelli with a fair hand, and remarkable for its anti-smoking policies, daily referendums, and hatred of cheese. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 18.343 billion Salaxians love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The enormous, outspoken government prioritizes Education, although Environment, Social Policy, and Healthcare are also considered important, while Spirituality isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Rime. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Salaxalansian economy, worth a remarkable 4,528 trillion Dirks a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing and Information Technology. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 246,862 Dirks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Counselors have to sign pledges supporting gay rights before they can speak to any patients, t-shirts displaying a photo of Svlad Cjelli performing the Full-Monty are selling out, a soldier's body is a temple, and agreeing to appear on TV is often the best way to access social care. Crime is totally unknown. The Salaxalans's national animal is the Electric Monk, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Chronology.

The Salaxalans is ranked 35,315^th in the world and 38^th in Spiritus for Most Politically Free, scoring 78.67 on the Diebold Election Inking Scale.