The Potato-Poet of The Salaxalans is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Svlad Cjelli with a fair hand, and notable for its rampant corporate plagiarism, ban on automobiles, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 16.687 billion Salaxians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The enormous, outspoken government prioritizes Education, with Environment, Social Policy, and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Spirituality is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Rime. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Salaxalansian economy, worth a remarkable 3,928 trillion Dirks a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing and Information Technology. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 235,426 Dirks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

CEOs are forced to cut coupons during important conference calls to make ends meet, religious turf wars have caused frustrated police to pray for divine intervention, dictionary sales have hit an all-time high, and power stations shutting down at night has made bedtime reading tricky. Crime is totally unknown. The Salaxalans's national animal is the Electric Monk, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Chronology.

The Salaxalans is ranked 228,040^th in the world and 383^rd in Spiritus for Most Avoided, scoring 0.22 on the Kardashian Reflex Score.