The I Am the Alien Overlord of The Salaxalans is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Svlad Cjelli with a fair hand, and notable for its rum-swilling pirates, ban on automobiles, and keen interest in outer space. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 12.076 billion Salaxians enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The enormous, outspoken government prioritizes Education, with Environment, Social Policy, and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Spirituality isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Rime. The average income tax rate is 99.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Salaxalansian economy, worth a remarkable 2,800 trillion Dirks a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing and Information Technology. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 231,922 Dirks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

The military recognizes no difference between male and female soldiers, the government is seen as openly hostile to all religion, The Salaxalans's Medieval Faire is renowned as one of the best in the region, and the government awards prizes to television shows featuring stereotype-breaking minority roles. Crime is totally unknown. The Salaxalans's national animal is the Electric Monk, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Chronology.

The Salaxalans is ranked 44^th in the world and 1^st in Spiritus for Most Influential, scoring 341,257 on the Soft Power Disbursement Rating.