The United States of The Republic of New Fairbanskia is a huge, efficient nation, ruled by Joshua Graham with an iron fist, and renowned for its pith helmet sales, avant-garde cinema, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, cynical population of 968 million Fairbanskians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Fairbanskia City. The average income tax rate is 53.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The thriving Fairbanskian economy, worth 81.0 trillion Francs a year, is led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Information Technology. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 83,667 Francs, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.5 times as much as the poorest.

The education system is being cleansed of all corporate influence, only adults may purchase violent video games, in life full of care there is no time to stop and stare, and tax avoidance is a serious affair. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. The Republic of New Fairbanskia's national animal is the Turtle Dove, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

The Republic of New Fairbanskia is ranked 270,961^st in the world and 4,806^th in The North Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -161.22 on the Scary Big Number Scale.