The Democratic Republic of The Republic of Maltaland is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by G D Marsan with an iron fist, and remarkable for its flagrant waste-dumping, zero percent divorce rate, and aversion to nipples. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 4.647 billion The Republics of Maltaland are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Law & Order, with Healthcare, Industry, and Administration also on the agenda, while International Aid and Environment receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Marsa. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 57.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Maltese economy, worth 676 trillion Malta Euros a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Book Publishing, Woodchip Exports, Basket Weaving, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an impressive 145,588 Malta Euros, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 454,427 per year while the poor average 35,813, a ratio of 12.7 to 1.

More than one company makes the board game Monopoly, social care for the elderly consists of a self help leaflet and a kick on the backside, meetings are often scheduled for "about four-ish" following complete conversion to sundials, and teachers prefer to give 'Maybe, Maybe Not' tests when dealing with sensitive subjects. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Republic of Maltaland's national animal is the Thrush, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Catholic Church.

The Republic of Maltaland is ranked 198,382^nd in the world and 8,056^th in The North Pacific for Most Politically Free, scoring 23.71 on the Diebold Election Inking Scale.