The Democratic Republic of The Republic of Maltaland is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by G D Marsan with an iron fist, and remarkable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, infamous sell-swords, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 5.502 billion The Republics of Maltaland are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Marsa. The average income tax rate is 79.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Maltese economy, worth a remarkable 1,091 trillion Malta Euros a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Book Publishing, Woodchip Exports, Retail, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 198,363 Malta Euros, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

Heavily-armed commandos play rock-paper-scissors over whether to execute criminals and foreign visitors, CSI Forest is this year's hit new crime show, the meaning of life was recently discovered in the patch notes for Version 1.42, and the government maintains a Department of Skulduggery. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Republic of Maltaland's national animal is the Thrush, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Catholic Church.

The Republic of Maltaland is ranked 100,635^th in the world and 4,488^th in The North Pacific for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring 1,027.69 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.