by Max Barry

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Election 2020: Kuriko 44.4%, Trans Anarcho-Communist Lesbian Catgirls 34.1%, Caelapes 11.8%, Valentine Z 9.7%
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 624thMost Influential: 1,322ndLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1,855th
The 18 Cowboys of
Father Knows Best State
18 happy friends at a slumber party.
Grant MacDonald
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

The Real Ram Ranch

Population1.431 billion

CapitalRam Ranch
LeaderGrant MacDonald


The 18 Cowboys of The Real Ram Ranch is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Grant MacDonald with an iron fist, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, infamous sell-swords, and public floggings. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 1.431 billion Cowboys are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Industry, Education, and Law & Order are also considered important, while International Aid is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ram Ranch. The average income tax rate is 79.8%.

The frighteningly efficient a Cowboy economy, worth 281 trillion showers a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 196,665 showers, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.8 times as much as the poorest.

Citizens are regularly arrested in queues for 'loitering', theories abound over why conspiracy theorists are being arrested, private law firms are unheard of, and tabloids coo over Grant MacDonald's expected child. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Real Ram Ranch's national animal is the Ram, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Ranchanianism.

The Real Ram Ranch is ranked 169,355th in the world and 8,285th in The North Pacific for Most Politically Free, scoring 5.71 on the Diebold Election Inking Scale.

Most World Assembly Endorsements: 624thMost Influential: 1,322ndTop
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1,855thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 2,158thMost Valuable International Artwork: 3,098thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 4,043rdMost Subsidized Industry: 4,521stMost Corrupt Governments: 4,590thLargest Black Market: 5,732ndMost Devout: 6,263rdHighest Average Incomes: 6,561stMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 7,688thTop
Most Scientifically Advanced: 9,165thLargest Information Technology Sector: 9,400thMost Efficient Economies: 9,437thMost Developed: 9,838thHighest Poor Incomes: 10,018thLargest Governments: 10,256thLargest Welfare Programs: 10,345thLargest Publishing Industry: 10,487thMost Advanced Public Transport: 11,071stLongest Average Lifespans: 11,914thMost Advanced Public Education: 12,372ndHighest Wealthy Incomes: 12,740thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 13,143rdHighest Average Tax Rates: 13,368thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 14,555thLowest Crime Rates: 14,976thHealthiest Citizens: 15,034thSmartest Citizens: 15,506thMost Cultured: 15,705th
Largest Manufacturing Sector: 91st in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 91st in the regionTop
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 153rd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 188th in the regionLargest Black Market: 216th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 226th in the regionMost Devout: 255th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 260th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 309th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 315th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 426th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 440th in the regionTop
Largest Welfare Programs: 475th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 494th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 498th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 502nd in the regionLargest Governments: 504th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 517th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 518th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 532nd in the regionMost Influential: 540th in the regionMost Developed: 550th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 592nd in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 603rd in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 642nd in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 655th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 698th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 734th in the regionMost Cultured: 752nd in the regionSmartest Citizens: 796th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 799th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : The Real Ram Ranch was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Scientifically Advanced.
  • : Following new legislation in The Real Ram Ranch, tabloids coo over Grant MacDonald's expected child.
  • : Following new legislation in The Real Ram Ranch, private law firms are unheard of.
  • : Following new legislation in The Real Ram Ranch, theories abound over why conspiracy theorists are being arrested.
  • : Following new legislation in The Real Ram Ranch, citizens are regularly arrested in queues for 'loitering'.
  • : Following new legislation in The Real Ram Ranch, drills and shovels have been banned as the government cracks down on any means of fracking.
  • : The Real Ram Ranch was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Largest Furniture Restoration Industry.
  • : Following new legislation in The Real Ram Ranch, 4-year-olds studying for their mathematics exams are anxious that they will be unemployable in adulthood if they fail.
  • : The Real Ram Ranch voted for The Empire of Kuriko in Round 3 of the election.
  • : Following new legislation in The Real Ram Ranch, the request to "give us our daily bread" can only be fulfilled six days out of seven.


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 216 » Runeda, Territorio di Nessuno, Yaorozu, El Fiji Grande, The Rhein States, Loutsland, PlanetPunk, Great Bights Mum, Shadowrik, Trillius, Dar es Saalam, Dreadton, Corfad, New Octicarg, Notyoutopia, Guer Aike, Koda-Land, Glurponia, North Bratislava, Omnistria, Newpromisedland, Shibutani, Bearical, Selfgradatude, Daiz, Sockmanland, 1 very fast endotarter, The Stratosphere Islands, Holy Oranz, Sundred, Zumlandia, New Lakemba, Destructive Government Endorsing System, Eri-Maqa-Ena, Kwaj, Siwale, Sil Dorsett, McMasterdonia, The Tampa Bay Rays, Sunto, Kasazzastan, Ponantine, New Bremerton, Maott, Pasargad, Wisconsota, Wineclaw, Steampunk Ariel, Gnomewatchers, Amauri, and 166 others.Moubarakistan, Xentherida, Frances Francis the First of France, Miruma, Kranostav, Wilkshire, Yukti, PotatoFarmers, Clan Spaniel, Pazair, Orado, The Iron Lions, Seenvorland, Vincone Cae, Dabarastan, United Kahndaq, Viridiann, Preble, Zyvetskistaahn, Amerian States, Pallaith, Ethnon, Eravonia, Fraguale Cothe, Terban Kedah, Interdimensional Zone, Ravendi, Tachycardia, Zokk, Umuyyad, Abject Ludicrosity, Black Templares, Aratani, Valhalla123, United Anglo-America, Empy, Castle Federation, Prydania, Partax, Palgo, Misthas, General COE, Serendipita Martia, Valshire, Aeurithianar, Xagill, Valentine Z, Austral States of America, Angshire, Fendlium, Fizban, Praeceps, Zecit, Infinitis, 2nd Confederacy of Independent Systems, 2 and 2 is Fish, Volstokn, Loli County, Jasminlandia, Cobleck Weleis, Malta Comino Gozo, Lungha, New Flos, Alamei, Avemterra, Napnomadia, Makersaulache, Jovian Knights, Imperial Joseon, Pauliestien, Navigator Islands, God Leon, Hamerica, Free Culture, Solmetria, Valatic Ash, Porlock, Kelvaros Prime, Noahs Second Country, Universal State Formula, Yokciq Empire, Woodsend, Hyphen, The New Communist Republic Of States, Pleroma Sans Romans, Melkmeid, Haminkwarea, Wit Noreis, Merconitonitopia, MiaryBhalzhack, The Endless Eventide, New Jamgra, Mandexia, Lendara, Votak Matim, Joodey, Psychotic Vegans, KhalChicken, The World Capitalist Confederation, Olofin, Vexilia, Banana Rat, Xyrron, Miamington, West Hamburg, SherpDaWerp in TNP, The Lancerian Empire, Methor, Ihese, Prevaland, Reyalda, Bhigham, Lybirit, Crader, Godwanna, New Trisone, The Windmilluminati, Stone Ira, Dorito Dust, Orven, New Avian, Diodone, Ummoki, Plangainer, SORT, Infantivore, Land of the Cross, Antiyard, Singamadri, Harrys, Nisastria, Kulgatha, Novanoke, Nistriabar, Greifenburg, Westinor, Supreme Leader Hadrian, The Reorganized Arctic Territories, Varola, Ozstan, Unsophisticate, Some Random TNP Nation, Unshleepd, Irishvan, Yohannes, United Federation of Murica, Ereena, Mooe, Pra Keerick, Solskjar, Olowakandi, Schnuftelland, U S Eh, The Pantheons, Korovan Isles, Borden, Eastern Bahia, Mon Civia, Californian Redwood, Zeternia, 9003, The Most Freedom Ever, UKDSSA, Plembobria, Astronomical, and Solimun.

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