The Free Land of The Polar States is a massive, socially progressive nation, ruled by Mr Penguin with a fair hand, and remarkable for its deadly medical pandemics, smutty television, and complete lack of public education. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 2.539 billion Polar Statesians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, corrupt, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Administration, although Industry is also considered important, while Law & Order and Environment receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Utqiagvik. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 1.7%.

The all-consuming Polar Statesian economy, worth 363 trillion Dollars a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with significant contributions from Soda Sales, Arms Manufacturing, and Gambling. Average income is an impressive 143,076 Dollars, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,302,428 per year while the poor average 1,777, a ratio of 732 to 1.

Fast-food chefs regularly win Health Innovation Awards for spitting on burgers, Violetist maidens who fall for an outsider must leave their violet light districts in shame, spiritual tourists meditate in the ruins of Polar Statesian cathedrals, and no cul-de-sac or trailer park is complete without a gambling parlor. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. The Polar States's national animal is the Penguin, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is No Official Religion.

The Polar States is ranked 340,779^th in the world and 5,156^th in the South Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 2.8 law-abiding acts per hour.