The Hot'n'Bothered of The Oriental Empire is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Alessandro Palaiologos Azarian III with an iron fist, and notable for its aversion to nipples, compulsory gun ownership, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 1.449 billion Hellenics are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Byzantion. The average income tax rate is 62.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Hellenic economy, worth 214 trillion Histamenons a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Trout Farming. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 148,319 Histamenons, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

Citizens are tied down and forced to watch educational videos on empathy, elementary school students are required to master Bach's Chaconne in D before graduation, kids refer to anything below the neck as "the parts that shall not be named", and grocery stores can be audibly identified by the giggling emerging from them. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Oriental Empire's national animal is the kri-kri, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Antiochian Orthodox.

The Oriental Empire is ranked 154,556^th in the world and 859^th in Europe for Most Rebellious Youth, scoring -20 on the Stark-Dean Displacement Index.