The Republic of The Minnesota Timberwolves is a gargantuan, efficient nation, renowned for its ban on automobiles, pith helmet sales, and disturbing lack of elderly people. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 11.46 billion Minnesota Timberwolvesians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Industry. The average income tax rate is 54.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Minnesota Timberwolvesian economy, worth a remarkable 1,395 trillion florins a year, is fairly diversified and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Furniture Restoration, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 121,780 florins, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

Code enforcement officers circle wealthy Minnesota Timberwolvesians like vultures, the government is a clear-cut case of tyranny by majority, every politician claims to be at least 1% Native Minnesota Timberwolvesian, and it's never "just a game" with Minnesota Timberwolvesian sports fans. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Minnesota Timberwolves's national animal is the kangaroo, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

The Minnesota Timberwolves is ranked 31,735^th in the world and 2,105^th in Balder for Lowest Crime Rates, with 81.72 law-abiding acts per hour.