The Holy Empire of The Kears is a colossal, safe nation, notable for its keen interest in outer space, compulsory military service, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 9.735 billion Kearsians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Altona. The average income tax rate is 22.9%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The Kearsian economy, worth 610 trillion deniers a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 62,756 deniers, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.2 times as much as the poorest.

Unpopular scientists are shunned by name, gay hospital patients are labelled with a pink triangle to alert staff of their substandard blood, parole board directors light up a joint before telling hash-brownie baking grannies that they have to stay behind bars, and the government's foreign policy statements are less threatening than a World Assembly cease-and-desist letter. Crime, especially youth-related, is almost non-existent, thanks to a capable police force. The Kears's national animal is the parrot, which can occasionally be seen dodging aircraft in the nation's cities.

The Kears is ranked 163,822^nd in the world and 116^th in Hive for Lowest Crime Rates, with 59.82 law-abiding acts per hour.