The Proud Illiterate of The Janitor of the Bar on the Corner is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by The Chief Janitor with an iron fist, and renowned for its irreverence towards religion, suspicion of poets, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 15.614 billion Elegant Gentlemen are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized morass — prioritizes Defense, with Education, Law & Order, and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Spirituality receives no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Golden Stool. The average income tax rate is 77.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The large but sluggish Facy economy, worth 307 trillion Dollares a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Beef-Based Agriculture industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology and Soda Sales. Average income is 19,686 Dollares, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Crossbow bolts fill the skies if so much as a sparrow flies overhead, murderers frequently escape punishment by claiming they were protecting their honour, ministers are now allowed to put suggestions in the governmental suggestion box, and enemy navies sail within bombardment range of major coastal cities with impunity. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Janitor of the Bar on the Corner's national animal is the Peacock, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Anarchist Communism.

The Janitor of the Bar on the Corner is ranked 62,632^nd in the world and 16^th in The Bar on the corner of every region for Lowest Crime Rates, with 71.27 law-abiding acts per hour.