The Free and Holy Republic of The Happy Civilians is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by the Brilliant Leader with an iron fist, and notable for its zero percent divorce rate, keen interest in outer space, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 24.385 billion Patriotic Citizens are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The minute, corrupt, moralistic, pro-business, well-organized government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order and Industry are also considered important, while Environment and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Joyous City of Freedom. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Patriotic Citizen economy, worth an astonishing 12,053 trillion Almighty Dollars a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. Average income is an amazing 494,314 Almighty Dollars, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,259,883 per year while the poor average 65,853, a ratio of 34.3 to 1.

Heavily-armed commandos play rock-paper-scissors over whether to execute criminals and foreign visitors, foreign planes and migratory birds are shot down as spies, small towns have started burning historical buildings in hopes of attracting tourists, and the military's primary weapons are fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, and a fanatical devotion to Christianity. Crime is all-pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. The Happy Civilians's national animal is the Super Amazing Brave Eagle, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Christianity.

The Happy Civilians is ranked 257,991^st in the world and 9,670^th in The East Pacific for Least Corrupt Governments, with 0.72 percentage of bribes refused.