The Free and Holy Republic of The Happy Civilians is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by the Brilliant Leader with an iron fist, and renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, enslaved workforce, and strictly enforced bedtime. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 17.627 billion Patriotic Citizens are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The minute, corrupt, moralistic, pro-business, well-organized government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order also on the agenda, while Environment and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Joyous City of Freedom. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Patriotic Citizen economy, worth a remarkable 8,104 trillion Almighty Dollars a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. Average income is an amazing 459,773 Almighty Dollars, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,614,066 per year while the poor average 39,394, a ratio of 66.4 to 1.

Wait staff claim to like it when odorous customers flirt with them, computer users are buried daily in thousands of unsolicited emails, vacationing Patriotic Citizens expect to be treated as royalty, and the well-to-do in The East Pacific are never on time for important appointments. Crime is pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. The Happy Civilians's national animal is the Super Amazing Brave Eagle, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Christianity.

The Happy Civilians is ranked 50^th in the world and 1^st in The East Pacific for Fattest Citizens, with 99.12 Obesity Rate.