The Francisco Sendrijas Pet of The Guardian Mastiff is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Tönpa Shenrab Miwoche with an even hand, and remarkable for its rum-swilling pirates, aversion to nipples, and otherworldly petting zoo. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 25.945 billion Guardian Mastiffians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Industry, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lhasa. The average income tax rate is 78.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Guardian Mastiffian economy, worth a remarkable 3,221 trillion dollars a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with significant contributions from Uranium Mining, Information Technology, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 124,149 dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.8 times as much as the poorest.

Estate agents justify funky smells by revealing how often the previous owners showered, citizens try to pass off bottlecaps they found in their backyards as historical artifacts, card collectors duel to the death, and former slaves find themselves being herded onto ships once more. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Guardian Mastiff's national animal is the dog, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Bön.

The Guardian Mastiff is ranked 136,535^th in the world and 3^rd in The Beech Beach House for Most Conservative, scoring 61.83 on the Bush-Santorum Dawning Terror Index.