by Max Barry

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Largest Gambling Industry: 620thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 761stRudest Citizens: 817th
The Holy Union of
The Cold Can't Stop us Now!
Carry Pillow
Civil Rights
Political Freedom
Widely Abused

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

The Greenlandic North

Population1.833 billion

CapitalNew Nuuk
LeaderCarry Pillow


The Holy Union of The Greenlandic North is a massive, socially progressive nation, ruled by Carry Pillow with a fair hand, and notable for its deadly medical pandemics, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and rampant corporate plagiarism. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 1.833 billion Northern Greenlandic's live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The medium-sized, corrupt, liberal, outspoken government prioritizes Industry, with Defense, Administration, and Education also on the agenda, while Spirituality and Law & Order receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Nuuk. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 67.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Northern Greenlandic economy, worth 493 trillion Ices a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Retail, Arms Manufacturing, Gambling, and Information Technology. Average income is an amazing 269,042 Ices, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,014,979 per year while the poor average 49,674, a ratio of 20.4 to 1.

The Museum of Blackacrean War Crimes is located on "Blackacre Did Nothing Wrong Avenue", all astronauts are hot twenty-something models selected because they have 'the right stuff', Northern Greenlandic's refer to transgender people with insults instead of pronouns, and a generation of children conceived in hell and born in strife is growing up inside government-run care villages. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. The Greenlandic North's national animal is the Lemming, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Cruligts.

The Greenlandic North is ranked 15,989th in the world and 5th in Wintreath for Most Politically Free, scoring 91.43 on the Diebold Election Inking Scale.

Largest Gambling Industry: 620thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 761stRudest Citizens: 817thLargest Retail Industry: 894thMost Subsidized Industry: 1,073rdHighest Crime Rates: 1,188thHighest Drug Use: 1,565thFattest Citizens: 1,626thMost Armed: 1,660thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1,942ndLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 2,095thMost Efficient Economies: 2,250thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 2,420thTop
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 2,760thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 2,863rdHighest Average Incomes: 2,869thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 3,297thMost Valuable International Artwork: 3,527thMost Avoided: 3,935thLargest Mining Sector: 4,168thLargest Black Market: 4,439thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 5,046thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 5,097thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 5,296thMost Corrupt Governments: 5,433rdLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 5,576thLargest Publishing Industry: 6,563rdMost Cheerful Citizens: 6,880thMost Influential: 7,677thMost Inclusive: 8,445thMost Rebellious Youth: 8,460thHighest Disposable Incomes: 8,541stMost Advanced Defense Forces: 9,849thMost Cultured: 11,498thNudest: 11,628thMost Scientifically Advanced: 11,698thLargest Welfare Programs: 12,103rdTop
Largest Governments: 12,641stLargest Information Technology Sector: 14,001stMost Extensive Civil Rights: 14,360thMost Advanced Public Transport: 15,027thMost Politically Free: 15,989thSmartest Citizens: 19,672ndMost Advanced Public Education: 20,400thMost Secular: 23,353rdMost Extreme: 24,036th
Highest Drug Use: 1st in the regionMost Extensive Civil Rights: 1st in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 2nd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 3rd in the regionRudest Citizens: 3rd in the regionTop
Fattest Citizens: 4th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 4th in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 4th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 4th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 5th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 5th in the regionMost Politically Free: 5th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 6th in the regionMost Armed: 6th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 7th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 7th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 7th in the regionMost Avoided: 8th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 8th in the regionMost Extreme: 9th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 10th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 10th in the regionLargest Black Market: 10th in the regionNudest: 11th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 12th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 12th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 14th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 14th in the regionTop
Greatest Rich-Poor Divides: 18th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 19th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 19th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 21st in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 23rd in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 23rd in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 24th in the regionMost Inclusive: 24th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 25th in the region

National Happenings

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