The The grate and glorios empire of The Grand Fifth Imperium is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Lord Business with an iron fist, and notable for its museums and concert halls, compulsory military service, and prohibition of alcohol. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 2.202 billion Morons are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Metrocity. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 72.4%.

The frighteningly efficient moronic economy, worth 248 trillion BIG bucks a year, is dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an impressive 112,695 BIG bucks, with the richest citizens earning 7.9 times as much as the poorest.

Future forecasters fearfully discuss grey goo and human obsolescence, children are expected to carve their own toys, life-saving resuscitation is denied based on decades-old teenage diaries that declare "I want to die before I get old", and the government puts forth the claim that harming young girls is wrong. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Grand Fifth Imperium's national animal is the locusts that eat all the food, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is the Ntl Religion.

The Grand Fifth Imperium is ranked 16,978^th in the world and 1^st in Greater Temecula for Most Subsidized Industry, scoring 7,101.75 on the Gilded Widget Scale.