The Red orange gold green blue of The Gold Mines is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Peach toadstool with an even hand, and remarkable for its smutty television, prohibition of alcohol, and multi-spousal wedding ceremonies. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 2.698 billion Gold Miners have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Mushroom city. The average income tax rate is 42.4%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Gold Miner economy, worth 276 trillion Gold coins a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Retail. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 102,498 Gold coins, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

The government is spending millions on renovating the public transportation system, priceless Maxtopian artwork can often be found in executive bathrooms, the restriction that you must be over 1.1 metres tall to ride a carnotaurus has recently been waived, and bins outnumber trees in city parks. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. The Gold Mines's national animal is the Golden Kitten, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

The Gold Mines is ranked 224,157^th in the world and 19^th in Just relax for Most Primitive, scoring -220.29 on the Scary Big Number Scale.