The Server-Fighting Sysadmin of The Glorious Hypetrain is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Kade Weston Vasentius with a fair hand, and remarkable for its daily referendums, irreverence towards religion, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, democratic population of 11.808 billion Glorious Station Attendants are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The medium-sized, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Glorious Station. The average income tax rate is 79.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Glorious Station Attendant economy, worth a remarkable 1,680 trillion Dollarydoos a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 142,293 Dollarydoos, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Customer satisfaction with online delivery services is at an all time high, the true length of the coastline of The Glorious Hypetrain may never be measured, dog owners proudly declare that their pups can predict when the mailman will arrive, and the optimally efficient parking strategy for business commuters is referred to as the "traveling salesman problem". Crime is totally unknown. The Glorious Hypetrain's national animal is the Swimming MLG Noscoper, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

The Glorious Hypetrain is ranked 274,285^th in the world and 359^th in The Union of Democratic States for Most Conservative, scoring 20.17 on the Bush-Santorum Dawning Terror Index.