The Empire of The Glorious Arctic Union is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Supreme overlord god-emperor Jeb with an iron fist, and renowned for its pith helmet sales, frequent executions, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 13.208 billion Polar citizens are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Law & Order, Industry, and Education are also considered important, while International Aid is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Union City. The average income tax rate is 95.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Glorious Arctic Unionian economy, worth a remarkable 4,118 trillion Bolts a year, is mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Woodchip Exports. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 311,781 Bolts, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.3 times as much as the poorest.

The tinfoil-hat crowd also recommend tinfoil wallets, the carbon footprint falls along with the human footprint during war, religious citizens are closely monitored for signs of self-harm, and claiming to have performed the Heimlich Maneuver is a popular defense for assault charges. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Glorious Arctic Union's national animal is the Polar bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Jebism.

The Glorious Arctic Union is ranked 4,032^nd in the world and 77^th in Europe for Lowest Crime Rates, with 121.1 law-abiding acts per hour.