by Max Barry

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Largest Soda Pop Sector: 1,682nd Highest Crime Rates: 1,920th Lowest Overall Tax Burden: 2,757th
The Republic of
Corporate Bordello
 I like money
Secretary of the Treasury
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

The Freedom Loving Pineapples

Population8.458 billion

AnimalDung beetle

The Republic of The Freedom Loving Pineapples is a colossal, efficient nation, notable for its frequent executions, smutty television, and enslaved workforce. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 8.458 billion corporate slaves are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The tiny, corrupt, pro-business, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Defense. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 4.2%.

The frighteningly efficient pineapplesian economy, worth 906 trillion Pen-pineapple-apple-pens a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Soda Sales, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an impressive 107,187 Pen-pineapple-apple-pens, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 520,885 per year while the poor average 12,739, a ratio of 40.9 to 1.

Nobody is allowed to stop the local daycare from reading Nietzsche to pre-schoolers, toxic smog is dismissed as the populace just "letting off steam", the Great pineapplesian Melting Pot boils out ethnic heritage, and visions of giant pink Dung beetles are a common side effect after corporate slaves eat their meals. Crime, especially youth-related, is pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. The Freedom Loving Pineapples's national animal is the Dung beetle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

The Freedom Loving Pineapples is ranked 150,860th in the world and 2nd in The Pale Blue Region for Most Cultured, scoring 62 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.

Largest Soda Pop Sector: 1,682ndTop
Highest Crime Rates: 1,920thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 2,757thFattest Citizens: 3,136thLargest Gambling Industry: 3,721stMost Avoided: 4,448thMost Armed: 4,473rdHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 4,619thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 5,082ndLargest Retail Industry: 5,678thHighest Disposable Incomes: 5,890thRudest Citizens: 5,989thMost Rebellious Youth: 8,465thTop
Greatest Rich-Poor Divides: 9,834thMost Pro-Market: 15,439thHighest Economic Output: 16,287thLargest Mining Sector: 16,388th

National Happenings

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