by Max Barry

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Issues Editor
Most Ignorant Citizens: 229thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 282ndMost Devout: 370th
The Petrifying Procrastinations of
Iron Fist Consumerists
Obedience is Man's Greatest Strength
Influence
Page
Region
Civil Rights
Outlawed
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Outlawed

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

The Free Joy State

Population11.436 billion

CapitalGrand Central City
LeaderExalted Holiness
FaithThe True Church of the Exalted Holiness

CurrencySweeting
AnimalDove

The Petrifying Procrastinations of The Free Joy State is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Exalted Holiness with an iron fist, and notable for its parental licensing program, pith helmet sales, and avant-garde cinema. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 11.436 billion Free Joyers are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Spirituality, Industry, and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Welfare and Social Policy aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Grand Central City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 65.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Free Joyish economy, worth a remarkable 2,801 trillion Sweetings a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Woodchip Exports, Uranium Mining, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 245,000 Sweetings, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 834,832 per year while the poor average 52,954, a ratio of 15.8 to 1.

Taxpayers cringe whenever someone brings up the Former Antagonist Reparations Treaty, pre-eclampsia in pregnancy is treated with encouragement to take "long soothing walks", both criminals and civilians are DOA, and the smell of napalm in the morning is usually alongside grilled Dove. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force. The Free Joy State's national animal is the Dove, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is The True Church of the Exalted Holiness.

The Free Joy State is ranked 228,550th in the world and 6,923rd in the Pacific for Least Corrupt Governments, with 5.29 Percentage Of Bribes Refused.

Top
1%
Most Ignorant Citizens: 229thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 282ndMost Devout: 370thMost Primitive: 605thLargest Insurance Industry: 771stLargest Black Market: 828thLargest Mining Sector: 1,031stMost Valuable International Artwork: 1,273rdMost Corrupt Governments: 1,334thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1,407thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1,466thFattest Citizens: 1,487thMost Avoided: 1,556thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1,647thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 2,277thTop
5%
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2,356thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 2,572ndHighest Wealthy Incomes: 2,637thHighest Average Incomes: 3,594thHighest Economic Output: 4,872ndLargest Cheese Export Sector: 6,163rdMost Conservative: 6,189thLargest Agricultural Sector: 6,915thLargest Gambling Industry: 7,990thMost Subsidized Industry: 8,856thHighest Disposable Incomes: 9,053rdMost Authoritarian: 10,129thTop
10%
Lowest Crime Rates: 12,845thMost Efficient Economies: 13,444thLargest Governments: 13,622ndMost Influential: 14,666thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 16,281stLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 18,285thLargest Populations: 22,626th
Top
1%
Most Ignorant Citizens: 9th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 10th in the regionMost Devout: 15th in the regionMost Primitive: 17th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 17th in the regionLargest Black Market: 18th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 26th in the regionFattest Citizens: 27th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 28th in the regionMost Avoided: 33rd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 35th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 37th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 37th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 48th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 52nd in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 57th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 66th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 69th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 69th in the regionTop
5%
Highest Average Incomes: 94th in the regionLargest Populations: 122nd in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 145th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 167th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 168th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 205th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 218th in the regionMost Conservative: 223rd in the regionMost Influential: 226th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 314th in the regionLargest Governments: 324th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 333rd in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 347th in the regionTop
10%
Most Authoritarian: 391st in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 626th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 648th in the regionMost Stationary: 675th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 695th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, the smell of napalm in the morning is usually alongside grilled Dove.
  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, both criminals and civilians are DOA.
  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, pre-eclampsia in pregnancy is treated with encouragement to take "long soothing walks".
  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, taxpayers cringe whenever someone brings up the Former Antagonist Reparations Treaty.
  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, the best spies are positively radiant after completing a big mission.
  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, everyone suspects that everyone else is a terrorist.
  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, rural Free Joyers stare in awe at the bright lights of the big cities.
  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, no bunny expects the Free Joyish rabbit coalition.
  • : The Free Joy State was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Politically Apathetic Citizens.
  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, military advisors frequently remind San Vitenzan farmers that they have to pull the pin on a grenade before throwing it.

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