by Max Barry

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The Free Joy State was Condemned by Security Council Resolution # 333
Most Ignorant Citizens: 236thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 237thMost Devout: 358th
The Petrifying Procrastinations of
Iron Fist Consumerists
Obedience is Man's Greatest Strength
Influence
Page
Region
Civil Rights
Outlawed
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Outlawed

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

The Free Joy State

Population12.878 billion

CapitalGrand Central City
LeaderExalted Holiness
FaithThe True Church of the Exalted Holiness

CurrencySweeting
AnimalDove

The Petrifying Procrastinations of The Free Joy State is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Exalted Holiness with an iron fist, and notable for its ubiquitous missile silos, lack of airports, and compulsory military service. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 12.878 billion Free Joyers are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Spirituality, Industry, and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Welfare and Environment receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Grand Central City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 66.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Free Joyish economy, worth a remarkable 3,171 trillion Sweetings a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Woodchip Exports, Uranium Mining, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 246,269 Sweetings, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,108,212 per year while the poor average 33,761, a ratio of 32.8 to 1.

Many of the unemployed have had the fight taken out of them, citizens often glare angrily at jet contrails, a citizen who thinks a slave is a deadbeat is entitled to make the descriptor literally true, and maintaining economic growth is no laughing matter. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force. The Free Joy State's national animal is the Dove, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is The True Church of the Exalted Holiness.

The Free Joy State is ranked 229,510th in the world and 5,923rd in the Pacific for Highest Food Quality, scoring 2.5 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.

Top
1%
Most Ignorant Citizens: 236thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 237thMost Devout: 358thMost Primitive: 402ndLargest Insurance Industry: 631stLargest Mining Sector: 899thLargest Black Market: 900thMost Valuable International Artwork: 1,283rdHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1,316thMost Corrupt Governments: 1,352ndFattest Citizens: 1,397thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1,420thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1,683rdLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1,696thMost Avoided: 1,734thTop
5%
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2,319thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 2,459thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 2,502ndLargest Agricultural Sector: 3,415thHighest Average Incomes: 3,740thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 4,244thHighest Economic Output: 4,554thMost Conservative: 4,601stMost Patriotic: 5,250thHighest Disposable Incomes: 9,344thMost Subsidized Industry: 9,605thTop
10%
Most Authoritarian: 12,301stMost Efficient Economies: 12,838thLowest Crime Rates: 13,207thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 13,326thLargest Governments: 13,432ndMost Influential: 13,695thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 20,137thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 21,538thLargest Populations: 22,671st
Top
1%
Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 10th in the regionMost Primitive: 13th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 14th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 16th in the regionMost Devout: 17th in the regionLargest Black Market: 24th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 27th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 30th in the regionFattest Citizens: 30th in the regionMost Avoided: 35th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 39th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 40th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 41st in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 42nd in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 45th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 59th in the regionTop
5%
Highest Economic Output: 60th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 61st in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 61st in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 77th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 93rd in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 96th in the regionLargest Populations: 110th in the regionMost Patriotic: 165th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 191st in the regionMost Conservative: 192nd in the regionMost Influential: 215th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 217th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 263rd in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 294th in the regionTop
10%
Most Efficient Economies: 306th in the regionLargest Governments: 355th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 369th in the regionMost Stationary: 488th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 490th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : The Free Joy State was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Greatest Rich-Poor Divides.
  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, maintaining economic growth is no laughing matter.
  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, a citizen who thinks a slave is a deadbeat is entitled to make the descriptor literally true.
  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, citizens often glare angrily at jet contrails.
  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, many of the unemployed have had the fight taken out of them.
  • : The Free Joy State was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Patriotic.
  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, prime picnicking sites are being paved over in the name of progress.
  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, there's a mortuary next to every Free Joyish restaurant.
  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, exceptionally talented workers are praised more than Revolutionary heroes.
  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, there is no such thing as an innocent fling in the Free Joyish military.

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