The Petrifying Procrastinations of The Free Joy State is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Exalted Holiness with an iron fist, and notable for its parental licensing program, pith helmet sales, and avant-garde cinema. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 11.436 billion Free Joyers are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Spirituality, Industry, and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Welfare and Social Policy aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Grand Central City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 65.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Free Joyish economy, worth a remarkable 2,801 trillion Sweetings a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Woodchip Exports, Uranium Mining, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 245,000 Sweetings, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 834,832 per year while the poor average 52,954, a ratio of 15.8 to 1.

Taxpayers cringe whenever someone brings up the Former Antagonist Reparations Treaty, pre-eclampsia in pregnancy is treated with encouragement to take "long soothing walks", both criminals and civilians are DOA, and the smell of napalm in the morning is usually alongside grilled Dove. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force. The Free Joy State's national animal is the Dove, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is The True Church of the Exalted Holiness.

The Free Joy State is ranked 228,550^th in the world and 6,923^rd in the Pacific for Least Corrupt Governments, with 5.29 Percentage Of Bribes Refused.