The Ardent Valor of The First Garrison is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Leader with an iron fist, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, zero percent divorce rate, and strictly enforced bedtime. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 20.095 billion First Garrisonians are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Law & Order, with Defense, Industry, and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Environment and Social Policy receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The First Garrison City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 7.8%.

The frighteningly efficient First Garrisonian economy, worth a remarkable 2,511 trillion zombie teeth a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Automobile Manufacturing. Black market activity is notable. Average income is an impressive 124,973 zombie teeth, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 799,918 per year while the poor average 7,983, a ratio of 100 to 1.

Government police forces protect public schools from the threat of protest, all citizens are solely referenced by their allocated identity number, murderers frequently escape punishment by claiming they were protecting their honour, and major archaeological findings are frequently bulldozed to make way for new buildings. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force. The First Garrison's national animal is the falcon, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is a major religion.

The First Garrison is ranked 28,402^nd in the world and 9^th in Taijitu for Largest Information Technology Sector, scoring 11,333.35 on the Fann-Boi Productivity Index.