by Max Barry

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Best Weather: 1,643rd Most Beautiful Environments: 1,913th Most Popular Tourist Destinations: 1,942nd
The Free Land of
Father Knows Best State
No, a ferret is not just a long cat.
Influence
Page
Region
Civil Rights
Average
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Few

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

The Ferret Lands

Population3.907 billion

CapitalAavak City
LeaderThe High Chief Ferret
FaithNahuatl

CurrencyCacao
AnimalFerret

The Free Land of The Ferret Lands is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by The High Chief Ferret with an iron fist, and renowned for its free-roaming dinosaurs, anti-smoking policies, and multi-spousal wedding ceremonies. The hard-nosed, cynical, cheerful, devout population of 3.907 billion Ferrets are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Aavak City. The average income tax rate is 95.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Ferret economy, worth 756 trillion Cacaos a year, is quite specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Trout Farming. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 193,548 Cacaos, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.3 times as much as the poorest.

The alarmingly racist TV show 'Bigtopians Say the Darndest Things' is a hit, women earn less than half the salary of men if they can even find a job, the government only invests in infrastructure after a natural disaster, and pro-wrestling bouts open with a legal disclaimer insisting that any violence is guaranteed 100% faked. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Ferret Lands's national animal is the Ferret, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Nahuatl.

The Ferret Lands is ranked 3,669th in the world and 88th in the Pacific for Most Cultured, scoring 172 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.

Top
1%
Best Weather: 1,643rdTop
5%
Most Beautiful Environments: 1,913thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 1,942ndLongest Average Lifespans: 2,202ndMost Developed: 2,381stHealthiest Citizens: 2,593rdLowest Crime Rates: 2,784thMost Cheerful Citizens: 3,067thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 3,206thSmartest Citizens: 3,593rdMost Cultured: 3,669thSafest: 3,744thLargest Governments: 3,971stHighest Average Tax Rates: 4,145thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 4,203rdLargest Publishing Industry: 4,353rdMost Advanced Public Education: 4,429thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 4,457thMost Devout: 5,258thLargest Information Technology Sector: 5,719thMost Scientifically Advanced: 6,087thHighest Average Incomes: 6,339thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 6,658thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 6,669thMost Advanced Public Transport: 7,309thTop
10%
Most Pacifist: 8,736thMost Efficient Economies: 8,950thMost Influential: 9,087thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 9,643rdMost Subsidized Industry: 10,226thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 11,096thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 11,162ndLargest Welfare Programs: 11,740thHighest Poor Incomes: 12,451stLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 13,260th
Top
1%
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 17th in the regionMost Influential: 30th in the regionBest Weather: 31st in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 44th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 50th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 56th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 62nd in the regionMost Developed: 65th in the regionTop
5%
Most Cheerful Citizens: 69th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 74th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 79th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 83rd in the regionMost Cultured: 88th in the regionSafest: 89th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 91st in the regionLargest Governments: 101st in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 103rd in the regionMost Devout: 108th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 112th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 113th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 116th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 141st in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 153rd in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 156th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 163rd in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 174th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 182nd in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 192nd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 235th in the regionMost Pacifist: 253rd in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 261st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 281st in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 286th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 324th in the regionMost Stationary: 340th in the regionTop
10%
Largest Basket Weaving Sector: 464th in the regionLargest Populations: 501st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 655th in the regionLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 682nd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in The Ferret Lands, pro-wrestling bouts open with a legal disclaimer insisting that any violence is guaranteed 100% faked.
  • : The Ferret Lands changed its national currency to "Cacao" and its faith to "Nahuatl".
  • : Following new legislation in The Ferret Lands, the government only invests in infrastructure after a natural disaster.
  • : Following new legislation in The Ferret Lands, women earn less than half the salary of men if they can even find a job.
  • : Following new legislation in The Ferret Lands, the alarmingly racist TV show 'Bigtopians Say the Darndest Things' is a hit.
  • : Following new legislation in The Ferret Lands, construction of the Really Big Hadron Collider is underway.
  • : The Ferret Lands voted for the World Assembly Resolution "Responsible Land Management".
  • : The Ferret Lands lodged a message on the The Pacific Regional Message Board.
  • : Following new legislation in The Ferret Lands, five-year-olds chanting "Little Miss Muffet" are accused of bullying arachnophobes.
  • : Following new legislation in The Ferret Lands, cyber-crime and tin-foil hat sales are both increasing at record rates.

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