The Free Land of The Ferret Lands is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by The High Chief Ferret with an iron fist, and renowned for its frequent executions, pith helmet sales, and daily referendums. The compassionate, cynical, cheerful, devout population of 12.835 billion Ferrets are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The large, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Aavak City. The average income tax rate is 99.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Ferret economy, worth a remarkable 3,091 trillion Cacaos a year, is highly specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 240,860 Cacaos, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The fate of the world literally rests on The High Chief Ferret's fingers, politicians always seem reluctant to publish their tax returns, the people are famous throughout the region for their perfect yellow teeth, and government bureaucrats review designs for birdhouses to ensure they do not block the views of neighbors. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Ferret Lands's national animal is the Ferret, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Nahuatl.

The Ferret Lands is ranked 3,459^th in the world and 52^nd in the Pacific for Most Devout, with 5,813.33 prayers per hour.