by Max Barry

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Largest Pizza Delivery Sector: 816th Largest Soda Pop Sector: 925th Largest Retail Industry: 1,061st
The Holy Patriarchate of
Compulsory Consumerist State
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Patriarch Barylov I Alexandrovich
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend

The Holy Patriarchate of The Dolanets islands is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Patriarch Barylov I Alexandrovich with an iron fist, and renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, museums and concert halls, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 3.842 billion Dolanetians are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Law & Order, although Defense, Education, and Healthcare are also considered important, while Environment and Social Policy are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Карьград. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Dolanetian economy, worth 859 trillion Дырмаs a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Soda Sales, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an amazing 223,801 Дырмаs, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,032,572 per year while the poor average 29,320, a ratio of 35.2 to 1.

The government only announces the deaths of its members when it's convenient, eminent domain has been abolished, agricultural employees work for peanuts, and subsidisation of Big Pharma has stopped many corporate executives from having to sell their second homes. Crime, especially youth-related, is a problem. The Dolanets islands's national animal is the Pit viper, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Dolanetian Orthodox.

The Dolanets islands is ranked 31,042nd in the world and 1,484th in The North Pacific for Most Developed, scoring 65.71 on the Human Development Index.

Largest Pizza Delivery Sector: 816thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 925thLargest Retail Industry: 1,061stLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1,096thRudest Citizens: 1,457thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1,508thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1,531stFattest Citizens: 1,547thMost Avoided: 1,638thTop
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 1,909thMost Influential: 2,152ndLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 2,359thLargest Insurance Industry: 2,660thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 2,663rdLargest Mining Sector: 2,943rdMost Scientifically Advanced: 3,480thHighest Average Incomes: 3,502ndMost Rebellious Youth: 3,608thLargest Information Technology Sector: 3,881stLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 4,229thMost Corrupt Governments: 5,307thLargest Publishing Industry: 6,576thLargest Gambling Industry: 7,040thMost Armed: 7,370thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 8,097thTop
Highest Workforce Participation Rate: 9,238thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 10,806thSmartest Citizens: 11,947thHighest Economic Output: 13,436thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 14,058thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 17,894th
Largest Pizza Delivery Sector: 18th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 31st in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 33rd in the regionFattest Citizens: 40th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 47th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 49th in the regionMost Avoided: 51st in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 55th in the regionRudest Citizens: 56th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 69th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 73rd in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 78th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 84th in the regionTop
Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 122nd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 124th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 128th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 167th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 167th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 190th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 203rd in the regionMost Armed: 225th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 245th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 300th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 320th in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 375th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 427th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 457th in the regionTop
Largest Black Market: 552nd in the regionSmartest Citizens: 571st in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 655th in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 677th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 729th in the regionMost Influential: 738th in the regionLargest Populations: 742nd in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 830th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 976th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in The Dolanets islands, subsidisation of Big Pharma has stopped many corporate executives from having to sell their second homes.
  • : The Dolanets islands endorsed The Kingdom of Plembobria.
  • : Following new legislation in The Dolanets islands, agricultural employees work for peanuts.
  • : Following new legislation in The Dolanets islands, eminent domain has been abolished.
  • : Following new legislation in The Dolanets islands, the government only announces the deaths of its members when it's convenient.
  • : Following new legislation in The Dolanets islands, at the edge of the final frontier space's biggest missile platform is about to unfold.
  • : Following new legislation in The Dolanets islands, crocodile roadkill is smeared across the asphalt of the new Formula One track.
  • : Following new legislation in The Dolanets islands, Jack Russells have proven to be terrible spies.
  • : Following new legislation in The Dolanets islands, Patriarch Barylov I Alexandrovich's exquisite office door is replaced monthly due to angry petitioners.
  • : Following new legislation in The Dolanets islands, theoretical science is only theoretical.


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