The People's Republic of The Crooked Beat is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Star Child with a fair hand, and remarkable for its sprawling nuclear power plants, complete lack of prisons, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 30.576 billion Crooked Beatians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, liberal, outspoken government prioritizes Education, although Welfare, Social Policy, and Environment are also considered important, while Spirituality and Law & Order receive no funds. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Crooked Beatian economy, worth a remarkable 8,762 trillion Pyramids a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Automobile Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 286,568 Pyramids, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Young children are learning advanced physics to scientifically disprove the existence of Santa Claus, many Crooked Beatians struggle to find outlets for their pent-up competitive juices, right-wingers complain that too many people are suckling at the welfare teat, and the nation's leader is normally just referred to as "snuggle-wuggle-huggy-bear". Crime is totally unknown. The Crooked Beat's national animal is the Unfunky UFO, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

The Crooked Beat is ranked 437^th in the world and 4^th in A Modern World for Highest Economic Output, with 8,762 trillion Standard Monetary Units.