by Max Barry

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Largest Welfare Programs: 14thMost Advanced Public Education: 27thLeast Corrupt Governments: 45th
The People's Republic of
Left-wing Utopia
Get up for the down stroke
Influence
Dealmaker
Civil Rights
World Benchmark
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Superb

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

The Crooked Beat

Population33.032 billion

LeaderStar Child

CurrencyPyramid
AnimalUnfunky UFO

The People's Republic of The Crooked Beat is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Star Child with a fair hand, and notable for its keen interest in outer space, restrictive gun laws, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 33.032 billion Crooked Beatians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, liberal, outspoken government prioritizes Education, with Welfare, Social Policy, and Environment also on the agenda, while Spirituality and Law & Order are ignored. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Crooked Beatian economy, worth a remarkable 8,932 trillion Pyramids a year, is highly specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Tourism and Automobile Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 270,434 Pyramids, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

One tree's worth of paperwork accompanies each imported log of timber, hundreds of subterranean tunnels are being built as part of "Project Morlock", the military maintains a fierce arsenal of 'Cure Missiles', and artists from across the nation compete to renovate the restrooms of old government buildings. Crime is totally unknown. The Crooked Beat's national animal is the Unfunky UFO, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

The Crooked Beat is ranked 152,730th in the world and 10th in A Modern World for Most Pro-Market, scoring 25.78 on the Rand Index.

Top
1%
Largest Welfare Programs: 14thMost Advanced Public Education: 27thLeast Corrupt Governments: 45thNicest Citizens: 94thMost Compassionate Citizens: 96thMost Rebellious Youth: 96thMost Cheerful Citizens: 166thMost Pacifist: 184thMost Cultured: 197thHighest Average Tax Rates: 256thSmartest Citizens: 276thLargest Publishing Industry: 374thLargest Governments: 393rdMost Developed: 396thHealthiest Citizens: 421stLongest Average Lifespans: 450thSafest: 458thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 550thHighest Economic Output: 563rdMost Inclusive: 586thMost Advanced Public Transport: 595thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 645thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 919thMost Beautiful Environments: 931stMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 1,006thHighest Poor Incomes: 1,011thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 1,133rdLowest Crime Rates: 1,343rdLargest Populations: 1,379thMost Efficient Economies: 1,843rdTop
5%
Most Subsidized Industry: 2,450thHighest Average Incomes: 2,707thBest Weather: 2,716thMost Secular: 8,305thMost Scientifically Advanced: 9,685thMost Influential: 9,765thNudest: 10,015thTop
10%
Highest Drug Use: 11,658thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 16,300thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 19,067thMost Extensive Civil Rights: 19,294th
Top
10%
Longest Average Lifespans: 1st in the regionNicest Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Inclusive: 1st in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 1st in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 1st in the regionLeast Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 1st in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 1st in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 1st in the regionSafest: 1st in the regionMost Cultured: 1st in the regionMost Developed: 1st in the regionMost Pacifist: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 1st in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 1st in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in The Crooked Beat, artists from across the nation compete to renovate the restrooms of old government buildings.
  • : Following new legislation in The Crooked Beat, the military maintains a fierce arsenal of 'Cure Missiles'.
  • : Following new legislation in The Crooked Beat, hundreds of subterranean tunnels are being built as part of "Project Morlock".
  • : Following new legislation in The Crooked Beat, one tree's worth of paperwork accompanies each imported log of timber.
  • : Following new legislation in The Crooked Beat, advertisers are struggling to make water sound cool to a twitchy public.
  • : Following new legislation in The Crooked Beat, people accuse the government of being in bed with Big Safety.
  • : The Crooked Beat was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Largest Manufacturing Sector.
  • : Following new legislation in The Crooked Beat, the government is funding experimental battery technology while the power grid continues to crumble.
  • : Following new legislation in The Crooked Beat, alcoholics are lauded as national benefactors within the halls of the Ministry of Finance.
  • : Following new legislation in The Crooked Beat, mantis shrimp studies is academia's fastest-growing field.

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