by Max Barry

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Largest Welfare Programs: 9thMost Advanced Public Education: 21stLeast Corrupt Governments: 63rd
The People's Republic of
Left-wing Utopia
Get up for the down stroke
Influence
Eminence Grise
Civil Rights
Superb
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Superb

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

The Crooked Beat

Population42.442 billion

LeaderStar Child

CurrencyPyramid
AnimalUnfunky UFO

The People's Republic of The Crooked Beat is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Star Child with a fair hand, and notable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, complete lack of prisons, and smutty television. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 42.442 billion Crooked Beatians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, liberal, socially-minded morass — prioritizes Education, with Welfare, Social Policy, and Environment also on the agenda, while Spirituality and Law & Order aren't funded at all. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Crooked Beatian economy, worth an astonishing 11,577 trillion Pyramids a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Automobile Manufacturing, and Gambling. Average income is an amazing 272,793 Pyramids, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Flight attendants rip down curtains with revolutionary fervor, things are looking up for patients accidentally prescribed erectile dysfunction medication, the nation has welcomed its expats back with open arms, and scientists earn more grant money for reproducing old experiments than trying anything new. Crime is totally unknown. The Crooked Beat's national animal is the Unfunky UFO, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

The Crooked Beat is ranked 316,006th in the world and 13th in A Modern World for Largest Furniture Restoration Industry, scoring -27.75 on the Spitz-Pollish Productivity Index.

Top
1%
Largest Welfare Programs: 9thMost Advanced Public Education: 21stLeast Corrupt Governments: 63rdHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 73rdMost Rebellious Youth: 87thNicest Citizens: 103rdMost Cheerful Citizens: 136thMost Advanced Public Transport: 182ndHighest Average Tax Rates: 197thMost Compassionate Citizens: 200thMost Cultured: 208thMost Pacifist: 244thHighest Food Quality: 317thLargest Governments: 321stHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 324thSmartest Citizens: 384thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 407thHealthiest Citizens: 421stMost Developed: 471stLongest Average Lifespans: 501stMost Inclusive: 524thSafest: 544thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 562ndHighest Economic Output: 634thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 635thMost Beautiful Environments: 746thLargest Populations: 1,195thLowest Crime Rates: 1,258thHighest Poor Incomes: 1,263rdLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 1,339thBest Weather: 1,765thMost Efficient Economies: 2,661stTop
5%
Highest Average Incomes: 4,245thMost Subsidized Industry: 4,421stMost Scientifically Advanced: 5,753rdMost Influential: 7,473rdLargest Publishing Industry: 8,444thMost Income Equality: 11,740thMost Secular: 13,081stMost World Assembly Endorsements: 15,494thTop
10%
Nudest: 20,431st
Top
10%
Most Developed: 1st in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 1st in the regionMost Income Equality: 1st in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Pacifist: 1st in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 1st in the regionLeast Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionHighest Food Quality: 1st in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 1st in the regionNicest Citizens: 1st in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 1st in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 1st in the regionMost Inclusive: 1st in the regionBest Weather: 1st in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 1st in the regionMost Cultured: 1st in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 1st in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in The Crooked Beat, scientists earn more grant money for reproducing old experiments than trying anything new.
  • : Following new legislation in The Crooked Beat, the nation has welcomed its expats back with open arms.
  • : Following new legislation in The Crooked Beat, things are looking up for patients accidentally prescribed erectile dysfunction medication.
  • : Following new legislation in The Crooked Beat, flight attendants rip down curtains with revolutionary fervor.
  • : Following new legislation in The Crooked Beat, government buildings are being cleansed of anything that might have racist connotations.
  • : Following new legislation in The Crooked Beat, traveller camps regularly block five-lane superhighways.
  • : Following new legislation in The Crooked Beat, the police are destroying all photographic evidence of their own existence.
  • : Following new legislation in The Crooked Beat, The Crooked Beat recently hosted the least successful trade negotiations since The Phantom Menace.
  • : Following new legislation in The Crooked Beat, search-and-rescue organisations are the biggest employer in the country.
  • : Following new legislation in The Crooked Beat, national parks have long lines of different gender-specific 'Porta-Pottys'.

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