by Max Barry

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Largest Welfare Programs: 14thMost Advanced Public Education: 26thLeast Corrupt Governments: 48th
The People's Republic of
Left-wing Utopia
Get up for the down stroke
Influence
Dealmaker
Civil Rights
World Benchmark
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Superb

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

The Crooked Beat

Population33.72 billion

LeaderStar Child

CurrencyPyramid
AnimalUnfunky UFO

The People's Republic of The Crooked Beat is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Star Child with a fair hand, and renowned for its smutty television, restrictive gun laws, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 33.72 billion Crooked Beatians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, liberal, socially-minded, outspoken government prioritizes Education, although Welfare, Social Policy, and Environment are also considered important, while Spirituality and Law & Order aren't funded at all. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Crooked Beatian economy, worth a remarkable 9,098 trillion Pyramids a year, is highly specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Tourism and Automobile Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 269,812 Pyramids, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Star Child's told that love often manifests itself through homicidal four-lettered litanies, turning eighteen is often referred to as the 'Age of Aquarius', children wondering what happens to pets after they die are shown where the compost heap is, and heavy industry must go to expensive lengths to dispose of waste. Crime is totally unknown. The Crooked Beat's national animal is the Unfunky UFO, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

The Crooked Beat is ranked 549th in the world and 1st in A Modern World for Most Popular Tourist Destinations, with 3,394.5 Tourists Per Hour.

Top
1%
Largest Welfare Programs: 14thMost Advanced Public Education: 26thLeast Corrupt Governments: 48thMost Rebellious Youth: 95thNicest Citizens: 96thMost Compassionate Citizens: 100thMost Cheerful Citizens: 162ndMost Pacifist: 184thMost Cultured: 199thHighest Average Tax Rates: 269thSmartest Citizens: 280thLargest Publishing Industry: 393rdLargest Governments: 409thHealthiest Citizens: 414thMost Developed: 418thSafest: 439thLongest Average Lifespans: 475thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 549thMost Advanced Public Transport: 558thHighest Economic Output: 568thMost Inclusive: 582ndLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 648thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 787thMost Beautiful Environments: 911thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 1,002ndMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 1,116thHighest Poor Incomes: 1,161stLargest Populations: 1,363rdLowest Crime Rates: 1,370thTop
5%
Best Weather: 2,444thHighest Average Incomes: 2,762ndHighest Drug Use: 2,767thMost Efficient Economies: 3,949thMost Subsidized Industry: 5,932ndMost Influential: 9,582ndMost Scientifically Advanced: 9,873rdNudest: 10,442ndTop
10%
Most Secular: 14,725thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 15,781stMost World Assembly Endorsements: 17,767thMost Extensive Civil Rights: 19,101st
Top
10%
Highest Drug Use: 1st in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 1st in the regionLeast Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionMost Developed: 1st in the regionSafest: 1st in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 1st in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 1st in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 1st in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 1st in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 1st in the regionMost Pacifist: 1st in the regionNicest Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Inclusive: 1st in the regionMost Cultured: 1st in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 1st in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : The Crooked Beat was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Highest Drug Use.
  • : Following new legislation in The Crooked Beat, heavy industry must go to expensive lengths to dispose of waste.
  • : Following new legislation in The Crooked Beat, children wondering what happens to pets after they die are shown where the compost heap is.
  • : Following new legislation in The Crooked Beat, turning eighteen is often referred to as the 'Age of Aquarius'.
  • : Following new legislation in The Crooked Beat, Star Child's told that love often manifests itself through homicidal four-lettered litanies.
  • : The Crooked Beat was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Largest Manufacturing Sector.
  • : Following new legislation in The Crooked Beat, graffiti graces every city's streets.
  • : Following new legislation in The Crooked Beat, most believe 'tis better to give than to receive.
  • : Following new legislation in The Crooked Beat, films are funded in accordance with the volume of tears shed when reading the screenplay.
  • : Following new legislation in The Crooked Beat, nouveau riche farmers diligently take care of their golden calf herds.

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