The People's Republic of The Crooked Beat is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Star Child with a fair hand, and renowned for its smutty television, restrictive gun laws, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 33.72 billion Crooked Beatians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, liberal, socially-minded, outspoken government prioritizes Education, although Welfare, Social Policy, and Environment are also considered important, while Spirituality and Law & Order aren't funded at all. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Crooked Beatian economy, worth a remarkable 9,098 trillion Pyramids a year, is highly specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Tourism and Automobile Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 269,812 Pyramids, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Star Child's told that love often manifests itself through homicidal four-lettered litanies, turning eighteen is often referred to as the 'Age of Aquarius', children wondering what happens to pets after they die are shown where the compost heap is, and heavy industry must go to expensive lengths to dispose of waste. Crime is totally unknown. The Crooked Beat's national animal is the Unfunky UFO, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

The Crooked Beat is ranked 549^th in the world and 1^st in A Modern World for Most Popular Tourist Destinations, with 3,394.5 Tourists Per Hour.