by Max Barry

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Most Secular: 54th Most Scientifically Advanced: 131st Largest Information Technology Sector: 142nd
The SybilSocialist Megacluster of
Corrupt Dictatorship
早 め ま す 420
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

The City of Guelph

Population7.031 billion

LeaderPresident Banks
Faithdemocratic ownership of the means

CurrencyDollar Credit
AnimalGrizzly Bear

The SybilSocialist Megacluster of The City of Guelph is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by President Banks with an iron fist, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, soft-spoken computers, and unlimited-speed roads. The compassionate, cynical population of 7.031 billion Guelphites are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The tiny, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Guelph. The average income tax rate is 4.4%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Guelphian economy, worth a remarkable 2,448 trillion Dollar Credits a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, broadly diversified black market in Information Technology, Book Publishing, Retail, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 348,256 Dollar Credits, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

It's considered bigoted to assume that a violent psychopath might be dangerous, hammer and sickle-wielding space marines are such stuff that dreams are made on, exorbitant spending on icebreakers breaks the ice at every budget meeting, and voting is compulsory. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. The City of Guelph's national animal is the Grizzly Bear, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is democratic ownership of the means.

The City of Guelph is ranked 30,018th in the world and 1,259th in The North Pacific for Nudest, with 189.5 Cheeks Per Square Mile.

Most Secular: 54thMost Scientifically Advanced: 131stLargest Information Technology Sector: 142ndMost Inclusive: 180thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 427thHighest Disposable Incomes: 435thHighest Poor Incomes: 472ndLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 573rdSmartest Citizens: 824thMost Avoided: 915thHighest Average Incomes: 955thLargest Mining Sector: 1,024thHighest Crime Rates: 1,112thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1,254thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1,295thMost Armed: 1,319thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 1,461stTop
Largest Retail Industry: 1,612thLargest Publishing Industry: 1,730thMost Cultured: 1,869thMost Rebellious Youth: 1,938thLargest Black Market: 2,057thLargest Agricultural Sector: 2,091stMost Subsidized Industry: 2,127thMost Compassionate Citizens: 2,315thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 2,456thNicest Citizens: 2,687thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 2,749thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 3,817thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 4,123rdHighest Economic Output: 4,437thMost Efficient Economies: 5,804thMost Corrupt Governments: 6,098thLargest Governments: 6,220thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 6,465thRudest Citizens: 6,813thTop
Healthiest Citizens: 7,640thMost Stationary: 11,501stMost Advanced Public Education: 12,587thMost Influential: 14,232nd
Most Secular: 2nd in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 5th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 7th in the regionMost Inclusive: 8th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 9th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 10th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 17th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 18th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 23rd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 28th in the regionMost Avoided: 32nd in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 39th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 41st in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 46th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 46th in the regionMost Armed: 48th in the regionLargest Black Market: 68th in the regionTop
Highest Workforce Participation Rate: 74th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 78th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 81st in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 82nd in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 87th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 89th in the regionMost Cultured: 91st in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 94th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 117th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 130th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 149th in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 152nd in the regionNicest Citizens: 162nd in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 192nd in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 228th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 237th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 239th in the regionMost Stationary: 272nd in the regionLargest Governments: 315th in the regionTop
Rudest Citizens: 390th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 436th in the regionLargest Populations: 560th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 652nd in the regionHighest Drug Use: 669th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in The City of Guelph, voting is compulsory.
  • : The City of Guelph was reclassified from "Democratic Socialists" to "Corrupt Dictatorship".
  • : Following new legislation in The City of Guelph, exorbitant spending on icebreakers breaks the ice at every budget meeting.
  • : Following new legislation in The City of Guelph, hammer and sickle-wielding space marines are such stuff that dreams are made on.
  • : Following new legislation in The City of Guelph, it's considered bigoted to assume that a violent psychopath might be dangerous.
  • : Following new legislation in The City of Guelph, home renovation shows are increasingly popular.
  • : Following new legislation in The City of Guelph, a spate of enforced closures has left 'Government FM' as the nation's only radio station.
  • : Following new legislation in The City of Guelph, every new building project has to undergo a five-year environmental impact study before it can go ahead.
  • : Following new legislation in The City of Guelph, increasing numbers of children in The City of Guelph have different eye and hair color to their supposed fathers.
  • : Following new legislation in The City of Guelph, local mafias have a tough time disposing of dead snitches without catching the attention of recycling authorities.


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