The SybilSocialist Megacluster of The City of Guelph is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by President Banks with an iron fist, and notable for its rampant corporate plagiarism, keen interest in outer space, and frequent executions. The compassionate, cynical, humorless population of 16.666 billion Guelphites are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The relatively small, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Guelph. The average income tax rate is 98.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Guelphian economy, worth an astonishing 12,622 trillion Dollar Credits a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, Automobile Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 757,395 Dollar Credits, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Betting pennies on games of Go Fish is considered deviant, helicopter parenting is on the rise, war is made in the name of love, and decongestants have replaced Dollar Credits in street transactions. Crime is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. The City of Guelph's national animal is the Grizzly Bear, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Sibyl Worship.

The City of Guelph is ranked 315,984^th in the world and 13,070^th in Lazarus for Most Primitive, scoring -2024.67 on the Scary Big Number Scale.