The WIZARD of The Church of Satan is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Magus L with an iron fist, and renowned for its state-planned economy, frequent executions, and complete lack of prisons. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 18.04 billion Satanians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Decompression Chamber. The average income tax rate is 98.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Satanian economy, worth a remarkable 3,205 trillion Greeds a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an impressive 177,665 Greeds, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Police spend their Saturday nights breaking up illegal street races, wars of expansion are described as "peacekeeping operations", every citizen is allowed exactly fifteen minutes of fame, and it's always rabbit season. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Church of Satan's national animal is the Sin, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Satanism.

The Church of Satan is ranked 2,434^th in the world and 104^th in the Rejected Realms for Most Corrupt Governments, with 256.39 kickbacks per hour.