The Federal People's Republic of The Celtic Islets is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by President Séamus Ó hEaghra with a fair hand, and renowned for its compulsory military service, punitive income tax rates, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic population of 27.633 billion Celts hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The large, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ebláine. The average income tax rate is 93.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Celtic economy, worth a remarkable 2,913 trillion déanáirs a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity. The industrial sector is mostly comprised of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, although the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 105,449 déanáirs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Elections are won by the candidate who makes the best 'yo mama' jokes, bars are packed at all hours, pictures of government employees with expensive Pearbooks 'working' on exotic beaches dominate local tabloids, and judges who serve for life or good behavior can expect to stay for a week. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Celtic Islets's national animal is the stag, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

The Celtic Islets is ranked 227,911^th in the world and 100^th in Democratic Socialist Assembly for Most Armed, with 0.16 Weapons Per Person.