The Dominion of The Calabash Protectorate is a huge, cultured nation, renowned for its vat-grown people, zero percent divorce rate, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 423 million Calabash Protectorateans are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The relatively small, outspoken government prioritizes Education, although Administration, Environment, and Defense are also considered important, while Spirituality and Social Policy are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Vryheid. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 12.3%.

The powerhouse Calabash Protectoratean economy, worth 39.4 trillion Tiles a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Information Technology. Average income is 93,221 Tiles, with the richest citizens earning 6.0 times as much as the poorest.

Books are considered luxuries only available to the incredibly wealthy, schoolchildren must pass a six-month Ethics and Safety Committee Assessment before they are allowed to mix baking soda and vinegar, military officers are given medals for disobeying orders, and suicide victims often leave behind cash to cover the cost of their fines. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. The Calabash Protectorate's national animal is the Rhinoceros, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

The Calabash Protectorate is ranked 30,841^st in the world and 1,189^th in The North Pacific for Most Pro-Market, scoring 71.11 on the Rand Index.