by Max Barry

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The 🅱️oi Behind This Dump

Eye Colour: dark brown
Hair colour: dark brown
Economic left/right: 2.0
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -2.72

The Burke Islands

• too lazy to keep puppets

• If there is a grammar mistake in one of my factbooks, please TG me!

• If something does not make sense (timeline wise, geographically, or historically) in one of my factbooks, please TG me and tell me what is wrong so I can fix it!

• If you have questions, you're welcome to TG me.

• If you find something cool or like something within my factbooks, do say!

• I acknowledge that the images (and some concepts) used in my factbooks do not belong to me.

[If you want to ask me a question and would like it put here, feel free to TG me!]

  • What's your name?: Burke, my friends call me Bucky.

  • What's your race?: Pretty damn white

  • What's your sexual orientation?: I’m bi

  • What's your country of origin? What citizenships do you hold?: American

  • Do you have a significant other?: Yip

  • Job?: unemployed waste away

  • What do you believe in?: Roman Catholic born and raised

  • So... your ancestry and heritage?: Cajun heritage, lots of French, Irish, Scandinavian, and German.

  • Your likes? What about dislikes?:

    Pro: bell peppers, sweet tea, video games (Halo, Battlefront 2005, and For Honor are my favorites), history (especially Roman history), Taekwondo, jalapeño sausage cheese bread (ooooh hits the spot every time), meat in gravy, pizza, pancakes, heavy metal, laser tag, NationStates, spiders, my cat, meaningful conversation and debate, Risk, Star Wars.

    Anti: wasps, pasta, trends, how freaking expensive college is, GPAs, glasses, memes that are still being used one month after they show up, Top 10 videos, rap, modern country music, the dying of Cajun French that no one seems to care about, micro transactions, when someone doesn’t pick up their damn dishes when they’re done with them.


Political Standpoints:

  • Pro: - Libertarianism, Pro-life, LGB rights, marijuana legalization, armed security at public schools, free speech, patriotism, saving Cajun French and, by extension, Cajun culture.

  • Neutral: - Trans rights, NATO, NAFTA, EU, illegal immigration, euthanasia, minimum wage, Trump.

  • Anti: - Communism, socialism, fascism, the Clintons, Putin, public services for illegal immigrants, abortion, racism of any kind, homophobia, Nazism, using the government to force people to use pronouns other than male and female, political correctness, joke policing.

So basically I’m your typical 150 pound, 5’10, high school white kid that looks at memes and watches YouTube all day. I don’t honestly have that many hobbies. I take Taekwondo classes and enjoy them. I enjoy learning history, but I suck at reading, I just can’t seem to focus while doing so. I usually learn by watching educational videos on YouTube. I’m no history expert by any means (yet) but I love it. My favorite historical topics are the Roman Republic/Empire, the Golden Age of Piracy, the World Wars, the Great Northern War, the Viking Age, and the Mongolian Empire.

You’ve probably read this about me several times, but I am a Cajun. I bet many would consider me a bad Cajun though since I rarely eat seafood and don’t speak French, but I’ve picked up the dialect, love the music, love the food, and love the people. One of my biggest hopes is that Cajun French will be saved. The problem is, this language isn’t spoken that much anymore, and most of the speakers are elderly. In addition, there is no real benefit other than cultural pride to learn it, and even that is something lacking in the Cajun community. Even the efforts to save French in Louisiana are not Cajun at heart, When the guys who started the whole movement to save French in Louisiana got through to the government, they stupidly decided to teach “proper” French, not Cajun French. This, as you can expect, turned a lot of people away from the movement and it was all a waste of time and money because barely anyone wants their kids to learn French French, they want them to learn Cajun French, and the government doesn’t want to teach Cajun French, so the whole thing was a failure. I guess one of my goals in life is to help gather support to save the language, but I fear the state has enough problems with money and corruption already to worry about the “Coonass” language going away.

Some solutions that I think could work include, having Québécois and French businesses set up shop down here, with French speaking employees, teaching it in school obviously, and putting the language on signs and such. We could pursue a bilingual school policy, teaching children both English and Cajun French, and encouraging them to speak both from an early age. I don’t really know how practical some of these measures would be, but it sure beats standing around and moaning about it.

Yes I am bisexual, no I don’t like “gay pride”. I just never really found why being something other than straight was supposed to be some kind of accomplishment. It’s just a character trait in my eyes, not something to be celebrated. Also, parents, please don’t force your kids to take part in those stupid parades please, it’s really messed up.

Just letting you know that I am terrible at political debates. While I love debating things that have to do with fiction or unimportant stuff in real life, I hate debating national policy that always has the potential to screw over a lot of people unintentionally. My general attitude when it comes to politics is, “as long as what you’re doing only affects you, I don’t care.” So things like drugs, alcohol, all that stuff, I’m fine with them being legalized, it’s their choice what to put in their bodies. However, I oppose the pro-choice movement, not based on religion or hatred of women or anything, but because I consider the child, fetus, clump of cells, baby, whatever you want to call it a living being that deserves its own chance at life, as we all do. I have yet to find a meaningful argument that explains why a baby one second out of the womb is more worthy of living than one that is just a fetus or only a “clump of cells”.

I find GPAs to be stupid. Why can a kid make valedictorian when he took the easier courses, made A’s in them, while I took the harder courses, and made one or two B’s in them, and I am the one that gets stuck with 10th place or something.

Don’t really know what else to talk about so if you have any questions feel free to TG me, I love when I get telegrams.

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