by Max Barry

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Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 316thMost Pacifist: 338thMost Rebellious Youth: 342nd
The Lush forest-moon of
Left-wing Utopia
Meow!
Influence
Superpower
Region
Civil Rights
Excellent
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Superb

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

The Asylum Manager

Population30.47 billion

CapitalMiranda
LeaderRiver

CurrencyNarf
Animalblack cat

The Lush forest-moon of The Asylum Manager is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by River with a fair hand, and remarkable for its rum-swilling pirates, infamous sell-swords, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 30.47 billion Asylum Managerians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, socially-minded morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Miranda. The average income tax rate is 99.3%.

The frighteningly efficient an Asylum Managerian economy, worth a remarkable 5,039 trillion Narves a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is extremely specialized, is mostly made up of the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology. Average income is an impressive 165,404 Narves, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Spoiler warnings are now given out before political speeches, student athletes gaze forlornly at abandoned black catball fields, movie producers send film critics wads of cash in their morning newspapers in anticipation of gushing praise, and the government prides itself on being smug and condescending to idiots. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Asylum Manager's national animal is the black cat, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

The Asylum Manager is ranked 721st in the world and 1st in Firefly for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring 12,940.97 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.

Top
1%
Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 316thMost Pacifist: 338thMost Rebellious Youth: 342ndMost Compassionate Citizens: 385thMost Cultured: 390thMost Beautiful Environments: 424thNicest Citizens: 449thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 495thMost Developed: 512thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 536thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 545thHealthiest Citizens: 557thLongest Average Lifespans: 582ndBest Weather: 586thLargest Welfare Programs: 721stHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 767thSafest: 773rdMost Advanced Public Transport: 816thMost Advanced Public Education: 936thHighest Average Tax Rates: 1,172ndMost Cheerful Citizens: 1,201stLeast Corrupt Governments: 1,282ndSmartest Citizens: 1,288thLargest Governments: 1,786thHighest Economic Output: 1,798thLargest Populations: 1,970thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1,976thTop
5%
Most Subsidized Industry: 2,348thLowest Crime Rates: 3,446thLargest Publishing Industry: 3,562ndHighest Poor Incomes: 4,162ndMost Influential: 5,915thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 6,743rdMost Inclusive: 7,050thMost Efficient Economies: 9,408thTop
10%
Highest Average Incomes: 10,427thMost Secular: 13,122ndHighest Drug Use: 15,199thMost Scientifically Advanced: 16,416thMost Income Equality: 16,523rd
Top
10%
Most Cultured: 1st in the regionMost Pacifist: 1st in the regionLargest Governments: 1st in the regionMost Developed: 1st in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 1st in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 1st in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 1st in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 1st in the regionLargest Populations: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 1st in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 1st in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 1st in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 1st in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 1st in the regionNicest Citizens: 1st in the regionSmartest Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 1st in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 1st in the regionMost Income Equality: 1st in the regionSafest: 1st in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 1st in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 1st in the regionLeast Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 1st in the regionBest Weather: 1st in the regionMost Inclusive: 1st in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 1st in the regionMost Influential: 1st in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 1st in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in The Asylum Manager, the government prides itself on being smug and condescending to idiots.
  • : Following new legislation in The Asylum Manager, movie producers send film critics wads of cash in their morning newspapers in anticipation of gushing praise.
  • : Following new legislation in The Asylum Manager, student athletes gaze forlornly at abandoned black catball fields.
  • : Following new legislation in The Asylum Manager, spoiler warnings are now given out before political speeches.
  • : The Asylum Manager was reclassified from "Liberal Democratic Socialists" to "Left-wing Utopia".
  • : Following new legislation in The Asylum Manager, students memorise knock-knock jokes for their mandatory twice-a-term Comedy Examinations.
  • : Following new legislation in The Asylum Manager, you're never too young to learn how to lie with confidence.
  • : Following new legislation in The Asylum Manager, cyber-crime and tin-foil hat sales are both increasing at record rates.
  • : Following new legislation in The Asylum Manager, solving crossword puzzles requires fluency in at least five languages.
  • : Following new legislation in The Asylum Manager, gay men commonly complain about their time of the month.

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