by Max Barry

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Highest Crime Rates: 1,099th Most Armed: 1,384th Lowest Overall Tax Burden: 1,796th
The Republic of
Capitalizt
et bona vitae, libertatis
Cthulhu
Influence
Shoeshiner
Civil Rights
Superb
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Good

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend

The Republic of The American Pioneer is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Cthulhu with an even hand, and notable for its deadly medical pandemics, unlimited-speed roads, and daily referendums. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 3.147 billion American Pioneerians enjoy some of the most opulent lifestyles in the region, unless they are unemployed or working-class, in which case they are variously starving to death or crippled by easily preventable diseases.

The minute government, or what there is of one, juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Pioneer City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 1.3%.

The frighteningly efficient American Pioneerian economy, worth 569 trillion dollars a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Arms Manufacturing, and Gambling. Average income is an impressive 181,034 dollars, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 711,028 per year while the poor average 31,323, a ratio of 22.7 to 1.

Family isn't who you're born with but who you abandon in foreign countries, dynamite sales and concert audiences are booming, foreign 'investors' have been taking a great interest in the new secret shuttle, and blind students are at a disadvantage now that test papers printed in braille have been discontinued. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, probably because of the absence of a police force. The American Pioneer's national animal is the Rattlesnake, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

The American Pioneer is ranked 153,971st in the world and 8,430th in The North Pacific for Most Conservative, scoring 29.71 on the Bush-Santorum Dawning Terror Index.

Top
1%
Highest Crime Rates: 1,099thMost Armed: 1,384thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1,796thTop
5%
Most Influential: 1,931stLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1,972ndLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1,984thRudest Citizens: 2,007thFattest Citizens: 2,116thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 2,420thLargest Retail Industry: 2,478thLargest Gambling Industry: 2,801stHighest Wealthy Incomes: 3,144thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 3,334thMost Rebellious Youth: 3,611thMost Avoided: 3,871stLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 4,364thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 4,472ndLargest Manufacturing Sector: 5,757thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 6,265thLargest Information Technology Sector: 6,785thHighest Average Incomes: 6,897thLargest Publishing Industry: 7,856thMost Scientifically Advanced: 8,318thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 8,598thTop
10%
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 10,185thLargest Insurance Industry: 11,740thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 12,039thNudest: 12,557thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 14,536thSmartest Citizens: 15,515thMost Efficient Economies: 17,521st
Top
1%
Highest Crime Rates: 30th in the regionMost Armed: 39th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 55th in the regionFattest Citizens: 59th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 65th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 67th in the regionRudest Citizens: 67th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 74th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 90th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 98th in the regionTop
5%
Most Avoided: 106th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 106th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 125th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 129th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 139th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 157th in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 250th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 264th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 309th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 351st in the regionNudest: 366th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 366th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 397th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 403rd in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 403rd in the regionTop
10%
Highest Economic Output: 517th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 572nd in the regionLargest Black Market: 573rd in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 583rd in the regionMost Influential: 687th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 746th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 786th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 802nd in the regionLargest Populations: 868th in the regionMost Cultured: 938th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in The American Pioneer, blind students are at a disadvantage now that test papers printed in braille have been discontinued.
  • : Following new legislation in The American Pioneer, foreign 'investors' have been taking a great interest in the new secret shuttle.
  • : The American Pioneer was endorsed by The Confederacy of Socialist Cooperative Republics.
  • : Following new legislation in The American Pioneer, dynamite sales and concert audiences are booming.
  • : Following new legislation in The American Pioneer, family isn't who you're born with but who you abandon in foreign countries.
  • : The American Pioneer was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Largest Mining Sector.
  • : Following new legislation in The American Pioneer, Cthulhu can often be found attempting to coax random citizens' cats down from trees.
  • : Following new legislation in The American Pioneer, children must make a homemade spinach and ricotta rotolo by high school or be held back.
  • : Following new legislation in The American Pioneer, the government advises foreign diplomats to speak softly and carry a big bag of cash.
  • : Following new legislation in The American Pioneer, anti-vaxxers claim that injected children are prone to psychotic breaks when they see the 'Queen of Diamonds' playing card.

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