by Max Barry

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Most Valuable International Artwork: 8,206thMost Patriotic: 8,378thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 11,836th
The Lucky Eco Green Colony of
Corrupt Dictatorship
Texas' Lucky Ambassador to Forest
St Patrick
Influence
Sprat
Region
Civil Rights
Some
Economy
All-Consuming
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Texas Jaguarundi

Population3.29 billion

LeaderSt Patrick

Currencygold bar
AnimalLeprechaun

The Lucky Eco Green Colony of Texas Jaguarundi is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by St Patrick with an iron fist, and remarkable for its ubiquitous missile silos, compulsory military service, and unlimited-speed roads. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 3.29 billion Texas Jaguarundis are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The medium-sized, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. The average income tax rate is 48.3%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Texas Jaguarundi economy, worth 414 trillion gold bars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, Information Technology, and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 126,040 gold bars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

Enemy combatants are presumed guilty until proven innocent, it's not only teenagers who mess around with fake IDs, marijuana is legal in the privacy of your own home, and military advisors frequently remind San Vitenzan farmers that they have to pull the pin on a grenade before throwing it. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Texas Jaguarundi's national animal is the Leprechaun, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Texas Jaguarundi is ranked 28,437th in the world and 101st in Forest for Lowest Crime Rates, with 83.68 law-abiding acts per hour.

Top
5%
Most Valuable International Artwork: 8,206thMost Patriotic: 8,378thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 11,836thTop
10%
Largest Basket Weaving Sector: 17,121stLargest Cheese Export Sector: 19,013thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 20,102ndLongest Average Lifespans: 23,940thHighest Disposable Incomes: 24,240thMost Authoritarian: 24,292ndHealthiest Citizens: 24,712thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 26,702ndHighest Poor Incomes: 26,925thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 27,955thLowest Crime Rates: 28,437thLargest Insurance Industry: 29,047th
Top
5%
Most Patriotic: 16th in the regionTop
10%
Most Authoritarian: 18th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 23rd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 29th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 29th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 30th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 33rd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Texas Jaguarundi was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Largest Insurance Industry.
  • : Following new legislation in Texas Jaguarundi, military advisors frequently remind San Vitenzan farmers that they have to pull the pin on a grenade before throwing it.
  • : Following new legislation in Texas Jaguarundi, marijuana is legal in the privacy of your own home.
  • : Following new legislation in Texas Jaguarundi, it's not only teenagers who mess around with fake IDs.
  • : Following new legislation in Texas Jaguarundi, enemy combatants are presumed guilty until proven innocent.
  • : Following new legislation in Texas Jaguarundi, brains have been removed from lists of best brain foods.
  • : Following new legislation in Texas Jaguarundi, criminals lock themselves in their mums' basements to avoid prison.
  • : Following new legislation in Texas Jaguarundi, enemy agents are generally eliminated with extreme prejudice.
  • : Following new legislation in Texas Jaguarundi, nobody is allowed to stop the local daycare from reading Nietzsche to pre-schoolers.
  • : Texas Jaguarundi was reclassified from "Psychotic Dictatorship" to "Corrupt Dictatorship".

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