by Max Barry

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Most World Assembly Endorsements: 984th Most Influential: 1,284th Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 3,064th
The Dictatorship of
Psychotic Dictatorship
Government Knows Best!
Tsar Clouseau
Civil Rights
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population10.139 billion

LeaderTsar Clouseau
FaithPink Panther-ism

AnimalTerribly-Written FanFic

The Dictatorship of Tessau is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Tsar Clouseau with an iron fist, and notable for its closed borders, national health service, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 10.139 billion Pencil-Pushers are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized morass — juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Dresden. The average income tax rate is 93.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The large but underdeveloped Tessauan economy, worth 468 trillion Silvers a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing and Information Technology. Average income is 46,182 Silvers, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

The men in trenchcoats hanging around playgrounds are actually police officers, courses in how to boil water are popular for formerly microwave-reliant Pencil-Pushers, healthcare workers are flummoxed over the spike in foreign tourists with sudden-onset heart disease, and Brancaland has gifted over nine thousand putrid moose carcasses to Tessau as a reminder of their "special relationship". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tessau's national animal is the Terribly-Written FanFic, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Pink Panther-ism.

Tessau is ranked 165,498th in the world and 8,946th in The North Pacific for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, scoring -15.02 on the Pepperoni Propulsion Productivity Index.

Most World Assembly Endorsements: 984thMost Influential: 1,284thTop
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 3,064thLowest Crime Rates: 4,822ndHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 4,917thHighest Average Tax Rates: 5,541stMost Corrupt Governments: 5,823rdTop
Most Beautiful Environments: 8,604thMost Stationary: 9,239thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 9,734thBest Weather: 9,755thMost Authoritarian: 9,828thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 10,423rdLargest Governments: 10,849thHealthiest Citizens: 10,859thLongest Average Lifespans: 16,219th
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 104th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 176th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 208th in the regionMost Stationary: 230th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 234th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 270th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 381st in the regionLargest Populations: 383rd in the regionTop
Most Beautiful Environments: 473rd in the regionLargest Governments: 543rd in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 545th in the regionBest Weather: 547th in the regionMost Influential: 547th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 564th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 595th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 710th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 886th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 157 » Notyoutopia, Ceretis, Novare Res, Selfgradatude, Guslantis, Sunto, Frances Francis the First of France, Corfad, Yaorozu, Xentherida, Unimaginable Doom, Sil Dorsett, Shadowrik, Great Bights Mum, Avalon, Holy Oranz, Calamazo, Gorinchem and Hoog-Hoornaar, American MapleStory, Democratic Peoples Republic of the US, SillyString, Wineclaw, Siwale, Malta Comino Gozo, Pallaith, Kwaj, General COE, Shin-Hachioji, Diodone, Yukti, Kelvaros Prime, Buckerino, The Iron Lions, Cloydicia, Bayern-Straubing, Moubarakistan, Universal State Formula, Amerian States, Beodarasc, PlanetPunk, Tredano, Territorio di Nessuno, Wodan, Ainsworth, Maott, Eglise Sainte Eve, Puczovska, Atain, Municipality of Baria and Vungtau, Ozstan, and 107 others.Q w e r t y, Voznesheim, Shibutani, Lower Nubia, Californian Redwood, THX1138, Northern Glory, Former English Colony, Kylesburgh, Koda-Land, Highton Islands, The Gamer Party, Whereisthatistan, Racoda, Sacrento, Sanjurika, Zeternia, Sundred, United Draconia, Empy, Ethnon, The United States of Romania, Suicidistan, El Fiji Grande, Dar es Saalam, Amestris-Britannia, Wilkshire, Yubadai, Pasargad, The Rhein States, Ostrolia, The Most Freedom Ever, Snoodum, New Eleria, New Bremerton, New Pruessen, Spartoptia, SORT, Sinelona, Valhalla123, North Bratislava, Vincone Cae, Uganda Knuckles UK, Kasazzastan, Omnistria, Sakaryata, Unsophisticate, Napnomadia, Sheldanada, Bearical, Australiland, Hong Kong Empire, Black Templares, Lunallian, Dreadton, Ka Ching, The Pantheons, Ninjak30, Outer Egorniand, Federation Terra Australis, Eri-Maqa-Ena, The Windmilluminati, Amauri, Guer Aike, Alunya, Steraz, The Sinclarian Provinces, Niradans, Votak Matim, Ofemerica, Egalico, Tappan Hills, Solmetria, Renzic, Joodey, Ara Antrizuls, Torakuen, The Notorious Mad Jack, Ibiscaton, Saturns Edge, Peldorn, Steampunk Ariel, Zemnaya Svoboda, VarDrade, Jasminlandia, Plangainer, Trillius, Kirostan, Tsardom of Leonlandia, Ejhsa, Liberum Mundi, Seidr Wyrd, Victoriaans Nederlands, Apetopia, 1 very fast endotarter, Lomjia, Ikea Rike, Free Azzaca, Vikingiarchy, Aratani, Destructive Government Endorsing System, Noahs Second Country, Loutsland, Test for a new hope, Castle Federation, Alpinea, and The Black Cathedral.

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